


hotline to hell

by dystopianDebaucher



Series: 666-666-666 [1]
Category: NU'EST, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, FA majors minki and jonghyun, M/M, polsci majors minhyun and jisoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-03-01 17:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13299369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dystopianDebaucher/pseuds/dystopianDebaucher
Summary: 010-68XX-XXXX:yai did iti blew himyou better get me that damn gameSatan:I'm sorry you did what now?010-68XX-XXXX:i did the bet!!u said you'd get me the new persona game if i blew kim mingyuSatan:OhOh myI'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number?





	1. 1-800-swallow-me-whole

**Author's Note:**

> i've been reading so many chatfics im so sry 4 this  
> also the formatting (and the need 2 write one) is heavily inspired by alette's [wrong (right) us](http://archiveofourown.org/series/860188) series!! do check it out if u have time (it has hyungwonho and binu hehe)
> 
> i'm rly not funny im so sorry for this

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

ya

i did it

i blew him

you better get me that damn game

**Satan:**

I'm sorry you did what now?

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

i did the bet!!

u said you'd get me the new persona game if i blew kim mingyu

 **Satan** **:**

Oh

Oh my

I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number?

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

ya choi minki

you better not b fuckin w me

my jaw did not go slack for nothing

**Satan:**

I'm afraid I'm not kidding?

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

ya!!!

if u didnt want 2 get me the game in teh first place then u shldv just told me !!!

— ———

** 010-13XX-XXXX: **

dude i heard u blew kim mingyu???

nice

cant believe u actually did that 4 a game

if all i needed was 2 bribe u into getting a sex life i shoudlve done this sooner

** Asshat: **

wait what

minki???

** 010-13XX-XXXX: **

yea???

did u fukin restore ur damn phone again

i kEEP TELLING U its all those damn games u download

**Asshat:**

OH SHIT

— ———

** Satan: **

Like I've been telling you, you've got the wrong person

Unless your friend looks like me or I miraculously have a friend with a sex life, you've got the wrong number

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

OHMYGOD IM SO SORRY

I KNOW I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM M Y FR IEND

IM SO SOS OSRY RY

also ur hot ? ? ? ?

k im so sorry again iLL LEAVE THIS EARTH NOW GBYE

** Satan: **

Please don't suddenly just leave the Earth???

Also, just out of curiosity, what in the world happened?

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

oh my friend and i made a bet that if i could blow this one guy

he'd get me a new game for my ps4

** Satan: **

Oh I had actually meant how did you get our numbers mixed up but

Well, you go through rather far lengths for a game now don't you?

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

OH SLJGAL;SKDJGALS;KDF

my phone just got reformatted cause i had to fix things since i download 2 mny games

so like i thought i remembered my bff's number by heart buT APPARENTLY NOT

AGAIN, WILL DISAPPEAR FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH NOW TNX

** Satan: **

Again, please don't.

But also oh, right. So are you getting your game then?

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

oh yea lmao apparently he just wanted me 2 have a sex life

like um just bc u have one???

but well its not like its anything new i guess

** Satan: **

That's....nice, I guess?

Well then, Mr....bet winner?

It was lovely speaking to you

Though it's a shame I don't know what you look like

Doesn't seem like a fair trade off

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

MR BET WINNER.......

im jr btw

also oH im sry do u want me 2 send a selfie in exchange im so sry abt that

i promise i wont do anything w or 2 ur face

** Satan: **

That's very....concerning.

Yes, please

Just to level the playing field, I suppose

It was my mistake to immediately send a photo of my face, anyway

But it would be nice to put a face to this bet winner I'm talking to

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

well at least u know mr bet winner's name

but also ok fine here u go im sry i cant b as photogenic as u

i dont take selfies ok im sry

** Satan: **

You don't have to be!!

You look nice. Nice eyebrows.

Also, just call me Min

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

thanks?????

nice face?????

!!! that was meant 2 b enthusiastic

anywy ok min it was nice talkin 2 u again im so sorry 4 this

** Satan: **

Again, you don't have to be!

It was quite interesting

A nice study break, if you will

Anyway, got to go back to hitting the books

Talk to you later

? I'm sorry, don't know how to end a conversation it seems

**010-68XX-XXXX:**

oh lmao dont worry me 2 i kinda just let it die

but also oaky good luck w ur studies!!

i hope u dont die lmao ttyl!!

( Save **010-68XX-XXXX** as **JR**? [ Yes] or [No] )

( Rename **Satan** to **Not Satan**? [ Yes] or [No] )

————

( Save **010-13XX-XXXX** as **Satan**? [ Yes] or [No] )

** Asshat: **

hooleeeyyyy fckn shite minki icb what just happened

** Satan: **

u just blew kim mingyu thats what happened

but anyway so whats the game??? stop leaving me on read u asshole

** Asshat: **

no okay ohmygod its so bad but also???

hsi face !!!!!!!

wru i need 2 tell u in person

also i need 2 show u his face DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN

** Satan: **

oh damn u used damn like five times

im by the bench outside plato hall

damn son what happened 2 u

** Asshat: **

probs the best thing 2 evr happen 2 me

n my unfortunate circumstance of havin 2 reformat my phone

like evry five months

— ———

**A Minhyun:**

The most interesting thing happened to me

**Jisoo H:**

it can't be that interesting but

what is it

**A Minhyun:**

Someone mistakenly texted me

And told me about their sex life

**Jisoo H:**

okay fair enough that's interesting

tell me more

**A Minhyun:**

This person mistakenly messaged me thinking I was their friend

With whom they made a bet with

The bet was that he'd blow this guy in exchange for a game

And he did

**Jisoo H:**

ok well i can't see why he couldn't just buy the game for himself

but alright then

and?

**A Minhyun:**

And?

That's it

That's the story

**Jisoo H:**

omg

you didn't even bother to find out if they're cute or not?

or if they even got the game in the first place

when did this happen

**A Minhyun:**

Last night

Also they're cute.

Person's a he so safe to assume they're not straight

But to each their own

Don't know if they got the game though

**Jisoo H:**

alright, to each their own

but also you thought he was cute? that rarely ever happens

how cute is he

**A Minhyun:**

Well he has a fairly decent face

**Jisoo H:**

oh god that means he's a 10

did you talk to him more?

**A Minhyun:**

What?

No

Why would I?

**Jisoo H:**

omg pls talk to him u need this in ur life

**A Minhyun:**

Was that Jeonghan

Tell your boyfriend I'm too busy for his antics

**Jisoo H:**

this ain't an antic!!!

also u kno u need this omg just talk to him do u even know his name

**A Minhyun:**

If it's not an antic then what is it?

Also, yes, I do

Or well, it's a nickname I guess

Told me to call him JR

**Jisoo H:**

lmao what is he in 5th grade

also its called advice u need to put urself out there!!

he's right, hyung

for once i agree

**A Minhyun:**

First of all, you agree on a lot of things

Don't make it seem like such a big deal

Also use your own phone, Jeonghan

Second of all, I'm busy!

**Jisoo H:**

no itd be too tiring to text u both im next to jisoo anywy whats the point

also!! u cant always use that excuse

he's right

again

it's not like we're telling you to go and get yourself into a relationship

just...meet new people, i guess

**A Minhyun:**

I can make friends just fine

I have no reason to text him, anyway

The conversation ended already it's been a day

**Jisoo H:**

so??? sometimes i dont reply to jisoo for like 3 days n were in a relationship

that's true

also maybe message him and ask about the game? if he got it?

for the bet, i mean

oooo nice idea do that!! just b all nonchalant abt it

hehe big word

**A Minhyun:**

Could the both of you please stop using the same phone

I'm getting a headache

Not surprising since I'm talking to you two but anyway

Fine, if it'll get you two to shut up

If he doesn't reply that's the end of it

If the conversation ends again that's the end of it

Deal?

**Jisoo H:**

deal!!

from the both of us

— ———

**Not Satan:**  


Hey

Sorry for messaging you out of the blue

Just wanted to ask, again out of curiosity

Did you get the game?

** JR: **

ooooooh hey!

its totes fine im not busy anyway

also no not yet!!

minki

my friend who lost the bet

told me he'll get it this weekend im excited

— ———

** Asshat: **

HE MESSAGED ME

WHAT DO I DO

** Satan: **

hot wrong number dude?

talk to him and be chill???

** Asshat: **

ur not helping omg

IDK WHAT TO SAY

**Satan:**  


well what did he msg u abt?

** Asshat: **

the bet

asked if i got the game alrdy

** Satan: **

then just talk about that?

talk about hobbies or smth idk

idk man its either sexting or nothing w me u know this

if u want tips on that i can help

** Asshat: **

ur so fckn useless icb were friends

i NEED new friends holy shit

** Satan: **

why dont u befriend mingyu :~)

got well acquainted w his lil buddy down there already anyway :^)

** Asshat: **

shut the FUC K  UP

U DID THIS TO ME 

but anywy okAY fine ill try

** Satan: **

do ur best sweetie im rooting for u!!

— ———

** Not Satan: **

That's nice

What game did you plan on getting? Persona?

What's that about

** JR: **

ohhhh my it's persona 5 and its super cool

its abt heart thieves and the metaverse and these cool personas living inside u

wow i did not...i cant explain myself well omg im so sry

** Not Satan: **

No need to apologise! It's fine :)

That sounds interesting

If I had the time I would've loved to check that out and play

** JR: **

oooo yea u mentioned studying last night 2

r u super busy w it? it aint test season or anythin right

AM I BEING ANNOYING IM SRY ILL LEAVE

** Not Satan: **

No!

You're fine

I'm the one who messaged you first, remember?

But yes, I'm preparing to enter law school so I'm trying to make sure I get good marks before I graduate

Aiming for Latin honours

** JR: **

damn son u must b super smart

cant relate tho

only thing i can read w/o dying would b manga

** Not Satan: **

Yes, it does require a lot of reading

But that's fine, I like it anyway

I'm not super smart or anything, I just have to make sure I work hard

Which is why I'm always in the library, rotting

** JR: **

poor u!!

u need a break smtms omg

that probs aint good 4 u ??? poor brain ?? ?

being overworkd n stuff

bUT WELL PROBS NOT MY PLACE TO TELL U THIS IM SRY

** Not Satan: **

You really have to stop apologising for everything

It's fine, I take breaks

I'm on my break right now

** JR: **

n iM BOTHERING U im sry

omg im sry 4 sayng sorry

iM SORRY FOR THAT TOO

omg im

** Not Satan: **

It's fine!! :)

You're not bothering me

In fact, I was bored

Which is why I ended up messaging you

So if anyone's bothering anyone, it's me

** JR: **

omg ur not a bother im totes free msg me anytime!!

ur bored i guess

or like ur on a break??

pre-law students have it hard huh

** Not Satan: **

Can't say it's easy

But well, what do you study then? If you don't mind me asking

Or are you not a student? You seemed young from your photo so I just assumed

**JR:**  


omg no its totes fine yea im a student!! im like 23 wbu??

fine arts major hehe

its hard smtms when theres no inspiration but well its what i do

only thing im good at too

i wanted 2 b a manga artist when i was a kid so i kinda...just tried...

not vry good tho but i try!!

** Not Satan: **

Oh that's interesting!

A manga artist!

That's nice, you're doing something you like :)

Also, I'm 23 too

** JR: **

guess were friends then!!

omg or is that like

im sry im like just a random person messaging u idk if i shouldve said were friends

but like yea its nice!! r u not in pre-law cuz u want to??

** Not Satan: **

That's totally fine

Friends :)

Also, my parents sort-of pushed me into it

But I do find it interesting at least so that's fine

**JR:**  


oooo great great!!

— ———

** A Minhyun: **

I'm running out of topics what do I do now

** Jisoo H: **

i thought if the convo died its over???

hmmmm

but well did you talk about hobbies already? that's always a good topic

OR SEND HIM A PIC OF UR FACE no one can hate ur face

** A Minhyun: **

Subtle reminder that you do have your own phone, Jeonghan

But alright, I'll take your advice then

Since I already did the first time around

I'm holding you two responsible for this

** Jisoo H: **

lay off me it aint my fault we always 2gthr

its called beING IN A RELATIONSHIP 

we're not always together that's not what it means

but also alright. best of luck, hyung!

— ———

JR:

so whatre u up 2 now!!

if u dont mind me asking??

uhhh like idk r u still on break

** Not Satan: **

No, I just got out of the library

Walking home

** JR: **

NICE

i mean like thats nice ur takin a break break

or like ur done 4 2day i mean

** Not Satan: **

Yeah

For once I finished before midnight

** JR: **

OMG bet that aint good 4 u

but also ok i feel

y do we hav it so hard

n we aint even a legit part of society yet im tERRIFIED

** Not Satan: **

Aren't we all?

It's going to be fine, though

So long as we try hard enough

Anyway, I'm going to revise for a few hours before I sleep

Talk to you some other time?

** JR: **

:O i thought u were done 4 the night!!

but anywy oakyyy

again im alwys free!

ttyl i hope revision dont take too long :~(

fighting!!

** Not Satan: **

Cute.

Thanks

Good night! :)

— ———

** Asshat: **

noooOooOooooOOOOOO

** Satan: **

o u messed up already??

that was fast

** Asshat: **

WRONG

maybe

i hope

but anywy nooo like he sent another selfie n even when half of his face was covered he looked good

HOW

so liike i sent one back as like a fighting!! or whatever

omg im so lame ex cU SE ME IMMA EXIT THIS EARTH

** Satan: **

OK CHILL

im sure it aint that bad

try again tmrw?

at least i hope u were cute in the selfie

** Asshat: **

well he said 'Cute' so

** Satan: **

o maybe u rly diDNT mess up as badly as i thought

good luck, friend

hmu if u need sext tips

** Asshat: **

GOODNIGHT MINKI

 


	2. 1-800-booty-calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Not Satan:**  
>  Don't think I'm in any position to comment on your sex life  
>  But also why'd you go?  
>  Just out of curiosity 
> 
> **JR:**  
>  ur rly curious rnt u  
>  but also idk im weak to nice faces :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk where this is going but anywy LISTEN TO [INFINITE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM-gCW45YHc) AND [BLOCK B](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0FrZ40fPiA)'S COMEBACKS

**JR:**

hey

u up?

**Not Satan:**

It's only 2 am, I am

What's up?

**JR:**

if ur goin out w like this hot older lady doctor

what would u give her

a small cactus, perfume, or a cd of idol songs

**Not Satan:**

JR it's 2 am

You're on a date at 2 am?

**JR:**

nO!!

ITS FOR A GAME FJVKJFKVFSDFSD

**Not Satan:**

Oh do you mean the game you got from your bet?

It's a dating game?

**JR:**

NO its rly serious n abt friendship n loyalty n not getting caught

cause u a thief

**Not Satan:**

So you...need to give a gift to a "hot older lady doctor"?

**JR:**

yes!!!

its for the slinks

omg i....

min pls just answer d question

**Not Satan:**

Alright, if you say so

And maybe the cactus?

I don't know a lot of doctors that wear heavy perfume and she might not like the scent

And unless she's explicitly stated she likes idols....

**JR:**

OH GOOD OK U DID GOOD

THANK U

as expected frm mr nice catch

**Not Satan:**

That's great? Did I guess right?

Also, what?

**JR:**

idk u just seem like a nice catch

like evry girls dream or smth

Dso like u mustv dated so many

n u helped me w this 2

**Not Satan:**

Thank you for the compliment, I guess?

Though I've never really dated anyone so I can't say I have much experience in that area

**JR:**

whUAT

ur lyin

stop lyin

**Not Satan:**

I'm not?

Why would I lie about my lack of dating experience?

**JR:**

IDK bc u feel bad 4 me n my single ass

**Not Satan:**

I didn't even know you were single?

I thought you had a boyfriend

**JR:**

lmao what no

who wud date me

lmao

**Not Satan:**

Lots of people?

**JR:**

ding dong u r Wrong

no people

like....

0

**Not Satan:**

I'm sure there's someone out there for you

**JR:**

p sure i shud b sayin that 2 u tho? ? ? ?

i mean look at u!!!

ideal bf rite there

omg i m sRY IF THIS FREAKS U OUT BTW

I MEAN THAT COMIN FRM A GUY

WHO LIKE

BLOWS PPL FOR VIDEO GAMES

**Not Satan:**

Haha that's fine :)

Thanks

Sleep well, JR

Hope you have fun with your game

— — — —

 ** Bet Boy ** ** : **

Hey

Wanna hang?

** Jonghyun [Jun's Party]: **

?????

its like 2pm dont u have class

** Bet Boy: **

No and you dont either

Right?

Come over

** ** Jonghyun [Jun's Party]: ** **

lmao is this a booty call

** Bet Boy: **

Maybe?

** — — — — **

** Asshat: **

GOD HELP ME

KIM MINGYU'S ASKING 2 HANG OUT

** Satan: **

and?

go?

** Asshat: **

ITS A BOOTY CALL, MINKI

WHAT DO I DO

** Satan: **

get urself a sex life?

a fwb dont sound bad

and its kim mingyu

heard he a good fuck

** Asshat: **

NOT MY ISSUE

IM NOT GONNA BE A BOOTY CALL

— — — —

** JR: **

bet boy texted n wants 2 hang

do i say yes

quick reply to me

MIN REPLY 2 ME

IF I TAKE TOO LONG 2 REPLY HE GON KNOW

MIN ! !! !! THIS IS IMPT PLS UR LIKE

MY ONLY OTHER FRIEND THAT ISNT MINKI

** Not Satan: **

Sorry, just got out of the shower

** JR: **

oh nice

** Not Satan: **

It should be fine? Is he expecting anything?

Also, thanks?

** JR: **

fknvkdsjldjgsdlknv im sry

also OFC HE GON EXPECT SMTH

imma b a booty call iCB THIS IS MY LIFE NOW

**Not Satan:**

JR I'm pretty sure you have more friends to ask

But personal opinion, you should treasure yourself more?

But I'm rather on the conservative side so do whatever you want?

— — — —

** A Minhyun: **

He asked me if he should be a booty call

** Jisoo H: **

whO ASKED U

U HAVE A BOOTY CALL

WHO ARE YOU

** A Minhyun: **

Oh my goodness are you two always together

Anyway, JR

He texted asking if he should go to this guy or not

** Jisoo H: **

yes

also ommgmgmgmgmmmggggg whatd u say !!!

** A Minhyun: **

No? But it's his life so I told him to do whatever

** Jisoo H: **

WRONG ANSWER

U SHOULDVE JUST SAID NO

OMGGGGGGGGGGG

** A Minhyun: **

I barely know the guy

I don't see why my opinion matters in the first place?

** Jisoo H: **

omggg u rly r just so  !!!!! this is frustrating i can t do this 

well if he asked you your opinion matters, hyung

but i agree you do barely know him and you did state your opinion

that should be fine

nO ITS NOT FINE U SHOULDVE BEEN HIS BOOTY CALL WYD!!!!

** A Minhyun: **

I'm not gonna make my new friend become my booty call

**Jisoo H:**  


if u say so bUT ITS A WASTE he cute u LIKE HIS FACE that RARELY happens

u like like twO FACES mine and jisoo's

SO LIKE

** A Minhyun: **

Your faces are okay at best

Anyway it was a mistake texting you

Gotta change and head out now

Talk to you guys later

** Jisoo H: **

UPDATE US

— — — —

** ** ** Jonghyun [Jun's Party]: ** ** **

LMAOOOOO Why should i

i got my game, friend :^)

** Bet Boy: **

Still no?

** ** ** ** Jonghyun [Jun's Party]: ** ** ** **

FIRST OF ALL i would like to state that life is NOT FAIR in the SLIGHTEST

second of all ill b there in 10

dAMN YOU AND YOUR FACE

** Bet Boy: **

;)

See you

— — — —

** Asshat: **

ok fiNE he a good fuck

** Satan: **

IM SO PROUD OF U

** Asshat: **

PRETTY SURE U SHOULDNT B

WHORING ME AROUND LIKE THIS

MINKI

** Satan: **

IM NOT WHORING U AROUND

u been super busy w ur work n shit u havent gone out in so long

n havnt enjoyed life in the slightest

n UR IN UR LAST YR OF UNI

enjoy life a lil u finally got ur scholarship

its time 2 LIVE A LIL

anywy w8 i gtta update cheol

— — — —

** [ hell holes ;~) chatroom ] **

** Circle 2: **

cheol did u know jonghyun got laid 2nite

god truly does exist

miracles happen

life is beautiful

** Circle 8: **

wait What

What do you Mean

did he finally actually Go Out ??????

** Circle 1: **

aslkjglsdkvlksdf nO

ok yes i went out bUT ITS ALL MINKI'S FAULT

he's WHORING ME AROUND fight him, cheol

** Circle 8: **

Elaborate on this I wasn't informed of Anything ????

I can't believe you guys call yourselves My Friends

** Circle 2: **

remember the bet?

he did it

aND HE GOT ANOTHER NIGHT OUT OF IT

** Circle 1: **

he said we should hang more b4 i left

asldkvnclkfj what DO I DO

** Circle 2: **

its time to suck dick

FOR YOUR LIFE

** Circle 1: **

STOP RUINING RPDR FOR ME

** Circle 8: **

Wait Mingyu and you fucked?

Damn

Can't believe you agreed to it though

** Circle 1: **

it was a moment of WEAKNESS

IM SRY

** Circle 8: **

He sent you a selfie didn't he

** Circle 1: **

im so weak 2 pretty faces icb this

WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF

cheol u dont get it he LOOKED SO GOOD

** Circle 8: **

Well seeing as you did this to yourself I can't blame Minki for anything

** Circle 2: **

HA!!!

BITCH!!!!

** Circle 8: **

But also Minki stop forcing him to have a sex life just because You have a colourful one

** Circle 1: **

HA!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

** Circle 2: **

OK BUT LIKE u get y i did it tho dont u

** Circle 8: **

Ok yes I do but Still

Anyway I can't believe I'm the mediator this time around

What is the world coming to

** Circle 1: **

ikr icb u n minki r getting along

what did u do to him @ minki

** Circle 2: **

i didnt do shit u shit

im just a charming person that ppl just naturally love

** Circle 8: **

He went to my match last week and made a cute banner for me

That was like the softest I'd seen him

** Circle 1: **

omg just bc i couldnt go!!!!

bITCH ICB U

** Circle 2: **

u snooze u lose u loser

— — — —

** JR: **

SLR IM SO SORY

i caved im sry 

** Not Satan: **

You caved?

** JR: **

i went 2 him

i bcame a booty call

im sry :(

** Not Satan: **

Why are you apologising to me?

**JR:**  


IDK!!! mbe u bcame disappointed in me :(

** Not Satan: **

Don't think I'm in any position to comment on your sex life

But also why'd you go?

Just out of curiosity

** JR: **

ur rly curious rnt u

but also idk im weak to nice faces :(

** Not Satan: **

hows this 4 a nice face!!

Oh my goodness I'm so sorry my friend got my phone

** JR: **

sdlkvnlsdkfj its fine!!!

ur face is nice yes i like it ur nice face yes

i mEAN IM SRY

— — — —

** A Minhyun: **

Pick up your boyfriend quick before I throw him out of the window

HE WOULDNT DARE

imy bb have fun in class :*

** Jisoo H: **

that was weird to read coming from your phone, hyung

but im on my way don't throw him out please

thanks

— — — —

** Not Satan: **

You don't have to apologise

Thanks for the compliments

Thanks for liking my face

** JR: **

kffkncdkslkdjsf ur welcom!!

anywy ttyl i hav 2 go to work

** Not Satan: **

Oh you work too?

Oh sorry right talk to you later

** JR: **

o yea!!

i work like 2 jobs lmao

i teach at a dance studio n graveyard shift @ a convenience store

** Not Satan: **

That sounds exhausting

And you tell me you're always free

Have fun at work! :)

** JR: **

i am!! ish?? my sched is rly nice this sem so

anywy thank u!!!

have fun studying???? lmao i think thats d only thing u do lmao sry

anywy ttyl!!!

— — — —

** Not Satan: **

Hey

Busy?

** JR: **

nop!! 

just got out of the shower n am eatin breakfast

** Not Satan: **

JR it's 4 pm

** JR: **

late breakfast*

** Not Satan: **

You've got to be kidding....

** JR: **

not kidding tho

**Not Satan:**  


Oh my goodness

How cute

Is that how you get away with everything?

** JR: **

WHAT DO U MEAN AAAA

but anywy whats up!!

also yea i told u i hav graveyard shift

came home at like 1 am n played p5 till like 4 am lmao

** Not Satan: **

I mean you're cute?

And since when was 1 AM is considered a graveyard shift?

I thought you had to start/end during the time frame of midnight and around 8 AM for that?

** JR: **

ok mr dictionary sure

also im not cute wdym immmmm

but anywy listen so mny weird shit happen during my shift i WISH i was in d graveyard fkcnkngknfd

but anywy yea u didnt answer me whats up 1!!11!!!

** Not Satan: **

Oh nothing much

I was just bored

I have 20 more minutes till my next class

And all my friends are already in class

Thought I'd talk to you if that's okay?

** JR: **

thats totes fine!!

wyd!!

ngl i thought ud be studying even during break bc ur a ~nerd~

** Not Satan: **

Mean

I'm not a nerd

But well I did consider it

Thought it'd be more fun talking to you?

** JR: **

awwww im flattered >/////<

yuck that emoji is so 2010 but im usin it anywy

AWWWWW im not fun tho but anywy oaky hehe

whats ur nxt class?

**Not Satan:**  


You're fun and cute :)

Don't worry

It's accounting

I took it as a free elective and now I'm probably failing

** JR: **

WHAT DID U DO 2 URSELF

** Not Satan: **

That's what all my friends say

Also why I stay up till late in the library and revise after

** JR: **

omgggg u shud rest :~(

take care of urself more!!

but also omg accounting im so sry 4 u

** Not Satan: **

Yeah I get that a lot too

And I do take care of myself!

You should be the one resting given your schedule

Two jobs? And during your last year?

** JR: **

lmao yea i gotta pay 4 my tuition somehow

++ i got a scholarship tho so mbe ill quit the convenience store but yk!!

extra money is alwys good

plus i like teaching dance!! dancing is fun :~)

** Not Satan: **

Sounds like you've got another passion besides manga

That's great :)

Also time's up, gotta head to class now

Take care

Talk to you later?

** JR: **

yea lmao im not vry good but nywy hehe

arigatnx gozaimuch

take care 2!!!

ttyl!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference:  
> circle 1 - limbo  
> circle 2 - lust  
> circle 8 - fraud
> 
> also ty so much for the nice comments ily all!! im glad y'all like my sense of humour (if there is any lmao) hope u guys enjoy!!


	3. 1-800-choke-dat-hoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Not Satan:**
> 
> Unsure about what to feel about your friend's sex life but to each their own
> 
> Also your friend does seem slightly more invested in this boy than normal
> 
> If he doesn't really talk about his 'boys' outside of a sexual context
> 
> **JR:**
> 
> YES RIGHT
> 
> BUT like he dont know it yet n he is sO ANNOYING BC HE DONT BELIEVE ME
> 
> like he keeps DENYING IT
> 
> **Not Satan:**
> 
> Well I hope he accepts his feelings soon
> 
> Also talk to you later the Professor's been looking my way for the past two minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK i made a mistake w jeonghan + calling mh hyung but i edited the previous two chapters re: that alrdy haHAHA tnx for pointing that out btw!!
> 
> anywy if y'all have any selfies pls do send them over ive been stalkin their igs for the longest time save me im tired

**Not Satan:**

It's 4pm

**JR:**

is this an accounting sos

**Not Satan:**

Yes

Help me

**JR:**

what do u need frm me my friend

im here

**Not Satan:**

I don't know

I just need a distraction

**JR:**

well minki just msged me abt how hes freakin out

abt gettin 2 emotionally attached 2 a fuck buddy

wanna know more :~)

**Not Satan:**

Not sure if I should know this since I don't know your friend

But you probably just want to gossip and I do too

So shoot

**JR:**

ohGMLDYDOS yes its fine u dk him anywy

SO LIKE LMAO dis btch cant stop fckn tellin me 2 get a sex life rite

n goes on n on abt how i should enjoy my life bc of my part times

n my irreg sched n my introvert tendencies

BUT LIKE THIS BCTH NOW GOIN ON ABT HOW THIS BOY OF HIS

IS SO CUTE N LOVABLE LIKE HE ACTUALLY TALKS ABT SMTH BESIDES HIS DICK

IM SO SURE HE IN L*VE N HE DONT KNOW IT

**Not Satan:**

Unsure about what to feel about your friend's sex life but to each their own

Also your friend does seem slightly more invested in this boy than normal

If he doesn't really talk about his 'boys' outside of a sexual context

**JR:**

YES RIGHT

BUT like he dont know it yet n he is sO ANNOYING BC HE DONT BELIEVE ME

like he keeps DENYING IT

**Not Satan:**

Well I hope he accepts his feelings soon

Also talk to you later the Professor's been looking my way for the past two minutes

**JR:**

ttyl dont die on me!!

— — — —

( Jeonghan Y created the group  **Mission Impossible** )

( Jeonghan Y added  **☹min **☹****  and  **babez **♡****  )

( Jeonghan Y set his nickname to  **Agent Han**  )

( Jeonghan Y set the nickname for  **babez **♡****  to  **Agent Soo** )

( Jeonghan Y set the nickname for  **☹min **☹****  to  **Clien** **t A**  )

**Agent Han:**

ok time to get started

**Agent Soo:**

babe????

**Client A:**

What in the world?

**Agent Han:**

its time to start mission impossible: get minhyun laid

**Client A:**

Oh god

**Agent Han:**

u nEED THIS btw im js

u've been all heart eyes emoji @ ur damn texty buddy 4 d longest time

u need a REAL person

**Client A:**

First of all, I'm not

Second of all, he's a real person

Third of all, why is me getting laid considered an impossible mission?

 

**Agent Soo:**

well you're not the most sociable person, hyung

but also why is this our mission, babe?

**Agent Han:**

i kNOW HE'S A REAL PERSON u hardass

but that's besides the point!!!!!

its bc hes infatuated n its either he gotta meet up w this boy or he meet up w another

**Client A:**

I can meet new people without the help of you two demons

Stay out of my business

**Agent Han:**

SEE HE'S NOT EVEN DENYING IT

**Client A:**

I'm denying it

He's a friend

And it's not like we've known each other long, anyway

**Agent Han:**

EXACTLY n to think ur already this infatuated!!!

he doin good PLUS u know he ain't straight so like GO!!!!

but anyway its been like a moNTH

**Agent Soo:**

that's true

minhyun's been attached to his phone ever since

**Client A:**

Minhyun?

**Agent Soo:**

minhyun hyung*

better?

**Client A:**

Quite.

**Agent Han:**

uGH AND THERE'S THAT TOO

so lets do this

lets make a bet

if we get u two tgether u treat us to dinner for an ENTIRE WEEK

plus jisoo doesnt hav to call u hyung anymore

**Client A:**

I won that fair and square

He has to call me hyung until we graduate

**Agent Soo:**

it does get annoying at times

i'm fine with that though

are you okay to bet, hyung?

prove us wrong, like you always do :)

**Agent Han:**

yea u always like bein right anyway!!

so lets do d bet

u dont lose anything anyway!!

**Client A:**

You're never gonna shut up about this are you

**Agent Han:**

no

**Agent Soo:**

no

**Client A:**

Fine

Bet

Terms?

**Agent Soo:**

we either get you a new boy to be infatuated with or get you to realise your feelings for this wrong number boy

before the semester ends in three months

and we win an entire week's worth of dinner

and i get to stop calling you hyung

**Client A:**

You were born so late in the year it really shouldn't make a difference

But fine

Bet

**Agent Han:**

YAS BITCH

**Client A:**

The both of you are so close to being dead to me

**Agent Han:**

ily2

— — — —

**JR:**

im nOT GONNA WHORE AROUND JUST BECAUSE YOU CANT ANYMORE, MINKI

**Not Satan:**

Got the wrong number again, JR

**JR:**

oh oH SHit damn it im sry

i shuldve named u smth else on my phone omg

anywy IGNORE ME

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 8:**

You shouldn't just Whore him around, Minki

**Circle 2:**

WHY NOT

**Circle 8:**

Just because you've started to accept you might get Tied Down soon

By One Boy

**Circle 1:**

EXACTLY omg ty cheol ik i could count on u

**Circle 2:**

its not bc of that!!

he's gettin attached to that min boy he doesn't even know him irl!!

**Circle 8:**

Highly doubt your intentions

But you have A Point

Still, don't whore him around

**Circle 2:**

listen wonwoo's a good fuck BET

**Circle 1:**

im nvr makin a bet w u again

**Circle 2:**

ok booty call

sure

**Circle 1:**

IT WAS ONE TIME

**Circle 8:**

Pretty sure Mingyu called you more than once but Anyway

**Circle 1:**

NOT HELPING

**Circle 2:**

ok u emotionally constipated boy

**Circle 1:**

u cant call me that when UR EXACTLY THE SAME

**Circle 8:**

Point

Jonghyun: 1 Minki: 0

**Circle 2:**

sHUTCHFCUKUP

anyway

can u like meet him irl so u can fuck alrdy

**Circle 1:**

NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT FUCKING YOU LIL BITCH

**Circle 8:**

Jonghyun: 2 Minki: 0

**Circle 2:**

STOP

but anywy okay well eITHER WAY u gotta meet him irl

bet he ain't even that hot in person

ur lil crush will disappear once u meet up

**Circle 1:**

just bc u hav a crush on ur damn d*ddy dont mean i gotta hav 1 too

**Circle 2:**

sTOP CENSORING URSELF

**Circle 1:**

AFTER THAT WRONG SEND, NO TNX

**Circle 8:**

Oh what wrong send

Update me on this I only know about his crush

Not the Daddy thing

**Circle 2:**

ITS NOTHING

**Circle 1:**

MINKI SENT ME A SEXT ON ACCIDENT

N HE KEPT CALLIN HIM D*DDY

I CANT

**Circle 2:**

seriously fUCK YOU KIM JONGHYUN

**Circle 8:**

I shouldn't have asked

I Regret This

**Circle 2:**

servs u rite bitch

anyway update us on ur lil poppa :~)

**Circle 1:**

STOP

— — — —

**Not Satan:**

Why, what do you have me saved as?

**JR:**

slr minki was bein annoyin

but also!

lmao i saved u as not satan since i mistook u 4 minki

n minki's name on my phone is satan lmao

**Not Satan:**

Oh

You could always...change it?

So you don't confuse yourself?

**JR:**

idk what else 2 name u tho

**Not Satan:**

My name....?

**JR:**

ok TRU

fine

( Rename  **Not Satan** to  **Min** ❤︎ ? [Yes] or [No] )

**JR:**

done

 **Min❤︎** :

What did you change it to?

**JR:**

Min **❤︎** !!

 ** **Min **❤︎****** :

Oh what's the yellow heart for?

**JR:**

OH UH

UH

the colour of ur hair!!

****Min **❤︎**** :**

Alrighty

Anyway I gotta finish my paper

Talk to you later :)

— — — —

**[ Mission Impossible chatroom ]**

**Client A:**

Do people usually put hearts beside contact names?

**Agent Soo:**

depends on the person, i guess

why?

**Client A:**

Nothing

Go to sleep

( Rename  **JR**  to  **JR **❤︎****? [ Yes] or [No] )

— — — —

****Min **❤︎**** :**

Are you done with your shift?

**JR **❤︎** :**

yea just finished!! omw home now

i rly need 2 quit this damn job

icb my shifts GOT WORSE

 ** ** **Min **❤︎******** :

You said that last month

 **JR **❤︎**** :

I RLY WILL QUIT OK I SWEAR

anywy whats up

 ** ** **Min **❤︎******** :

Nothing

Got bored and thought I'd bother you

At 3 AM

I'm sorry

**JR **❤︎:****

ur nvr a bother!

anywy u on a break from revising?

 ** ** **Min **❤︎******** :

Yeah

Have any suggestions as to what I could do?

**JR **❤︎:****

lets play 20 qs!!

 ** ** **Min **❤︎******** :

Oh that sounds interesting

Sure

You go first?

**JR **❤︎:****

uuuuuuhhhhhh ok

whens ur bday?

 ** ** **Min **❤︎******** :

Oh

Guess I never did get to tell you

It's August 9

Yours?

**JR **❤︎:****

ooo im slightly older hehe

june 8!

uhhhh fave colour?

**Min **❤︎** ** **:******

Should I call you hyung then?

Black

You?

**JR **❤︎** :**

no omg pls no

also yellow!!

will u nvr think of ur own qs???

 **Min **❤︎**** :

Well, now I have to

Um, favourite manga?

 **JR **❤︎**** :

omg pls no

uh

uHHHHH

THIS IS SO HARD WHY WOULD U

uHMMM

well i recently got into haikyuu so ig haikyuu???

icb u did this to me

**Min **❤︎** :**

Haha, I'm sorry :)

**JR **❤︎** :**

uhhh whatre u up 2?

besides revising

**Min **❤︎** **:****

Oh I actually stopped

Went out for a bit to get some snacks

**JR **❤︎** :**

oooooooo

what're u gettin?

**Min **❤︎** **:****

Thought it was my turn?

I'm getting a few bags of cookies and some tea

**JR **❤︎** :**

askjdg;sakljdas omg yes go ahead!!

also aw ur like a british person

w ur hair 2 hehe

**Min **❤︎** **:****

Thanks?

Though I've been meaning to change it

The colour, I mean

Should I?

**JR **❤︎** :**

up 2 u!!

i personally like it tho

but like idk what u wanna do

plus w ur face u can do anything 2 ur hair

**Min **❤︎** **:****

Hmmmm

Maybe I'll go back to making it brown

It's super hard to manage

**JR **❤︎** :**

it looks like it

isnt it painful :(

**Min **❤︎** **:****

Stings a little, yeah

Anyway have to get back to revising

Just got home

Good night, JR

Mornight* as you say

Oh! Last question

What does JR stand for? Is that your real name?

**JR **❤︎** :**

hehe good mornight~

also nop its a nickname of mine

frm gaming hahahaha

my real name's jonghyun!!

wbu tho

**Min **❤︎** **:****

It's Minhyun

( Rename  **JR **❤︎**   **to  **Jonghyun **❤︎****? [ Yes] or [No] )

( Rename  **Min **❤︎**   **to  **Minhyun **❤︎****? [ Yes] or [No] )

— — — —

**[ Mission Impossible chatroom ]**

**Agent Han:**

HE PUT A HEART

ON HIS CONTACT

its OVER now they just gotta meet

ASK HIM ON A DATE ALREADY

**Client A:**

It was an impulse decision

How do you even know?

**Agent Han:**

um excuse me 

its like u dont know me

**Agent Soo:**

he has a point though

why don't you just ask him out?

you've been talking for like a month and a half already

do it before han steals your phone

**Agent Han:**

dONT OUT MY PLAN

**Client A:**

Stay away from me and my phone you demon

You've been warned

**Agent Soo:**

ok but really why do you not just ask him out?

— — — —

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

Look at what I saw :)

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

omg its like

all my fave things in one pic

i almost uwud out loud

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

Uwu?

Oh I didn't know you liked flowers that much

But well it is yellow so I thought of you :)

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

IGNORE ME LMAO

o ya lmao i luv flowers!!

hahahaha

anywy gtg ttyl!!!

— — — —

**[ Mission Impossible chatroom ]**

**Client A:**

It's fine like this

**Agent Soo:**

wow you took so long to reply

and that's all you can say?

**Client A:**

No I just had to do something

Anyway, a few minutes isn't a long time

**Agent Soo:**

yeah but for you it kinda is?

since whenever you're obviously online and free you reply so fast

what did you do?

**Client A:**

Nothing

**Agent Han:**

HE SENT A SELFIE

HE'S BEEN SENDING HIM SELFIES, BABE

**Client A:**

How do you know that?

**Agent Han:**

its over we gotta get them to meet this has to END

idk what other boy i can send to him at this point

i suddenly dont have enough friends

and tHAT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE

**Client A:**

Jeonghan are you stalking me?

Reply to me

**Agent Han:**

i was just passin by n i saw u take a pic w the flowers

shut up y would i evr

yuck

**Agent Soo:**

well you do have the most friends out of everyone i know

so yeah, i do think you two have to meet

do you know where he goes to school?

he's in uni right?

**Client A:**

Leave me alone, demons

I'm never telling you two anything ever again

**Agent Han:**

sure u wont :~)

well hav fun textin n sendin selfies

send nudez thatll be the hook line n sinker

**Agent Soo:**

don't complain if we don't reply

when you're having an existential crisis over liking someone

:)

**Client A:**

I hate you two

Also what does uwu mean?

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 1:**

ok like

u might b rite

@ minki

**Circle 8:**

That didn't take long At All

Minki wins

**Circle 2:**

UR DAMN RITE

MINKI WINS

WHAT HAPPENED

**Circle 1:**

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

I JUST

MIGHT

HAVE LIKE

OR LIKE IDK

MIGHT

LIKE HIS FACE A LIL 2 MUCH

**Circle 2:**

LMAOOOOO THERE IT IS

just invite him 4 a date omhgmyod

he alrdy know u aint straight

ask him if he aint either n gO OUT FOR FUCKS SAKE

**Circle 1:**

uGH I HATE THIS

i wont

thisll go away w time

esp since we dont rly see each other anywy

**Circle 2:**

u do know ill hunt him down if u dont rite

do u even know how many friends i have

like

**Circle 1:**

UGH I HATE THIS EVEN MORE

I HOPE U CHOKE ON UR D*DDY'S DICK

**Circle 2:**

way ahead of u ;^)

**Circle 8:**

Why can't you two text these in Private instead....

Jesus.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk y ao3 has a vendetta against emoji hearts but lets pretend that heart be yellow ok pls n tnk u
> 
> so anyway its been a month and a half since they started texting if that wasnt obvs i FEEL LIKE I'M RUSHING THIS But like if i prolong this it might end up Real Shitty since i'm running out of ideas aaaa
> 
> but also next chap will have more jihan than anything cause i love me my fairy boys (+ possibility of me adding baekren bc of [this](https://twitter.com/nuest_gc/status/935410558442004481) tweet n i can't stop laughing at it its been Years)
> 
> anyway thank y'alls so much for the comments + kudos!! im glad some of y'all appreciate my sense of humour :''''' )


	4. 1-800-spread-d-luv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **A Baby:**  
>  omg hong jisoo  
>  r u breakin up w me????  
> 
> 
> **babez♡:**  
>  no  
>  that's not  
>  but we need to  
>  uhhhhh  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more jihan/baekren than 2hyun in this chapter! i hope y'all's still like it :)  
> all the comments you've all left me have been so funny/cute i've been gushing ever since i love all y'all's comments ilyall thank u so much for reading!!
> 
> also i need help re: chapter titles im m m mmm mm

**[ the box chatroom ]**

**evil incarnate:**

now see if you can bitch to your best friend about goin out n havin fun y r u so prissy abt dis one boy

u hypocrite

**pandora:**

ok but he a hippo 2 bitch

he totes likes this one guy but wont admit it

**our only hope:**

be the role model

accept your feelings

**pandora:**

HE ALREADY SAID HES CRUSHING ON HIM SO

he shud b the role model by default

since i havent accepted anything

**evil incarnate:**

bullshit wtf minki uve been gushin over him for so long alrdy

even b4 the thing w ur bff

u just slipped so this blew up w ur other friends

**our only hope:**

he's right you know

you're just panicking now cause they found out about your little crush

and you're trying to redirect all attention to your best friend and his little crush

 

**pandora:**

y did i befriend u 2 demons

AND get u 2 2gther

do u not feel anything

i was ur cupid

n now u do this to me?

**evil incarnate:**

tnx 4 dat bb but u cant hang that ovr our heads 4evr

**our only hope:**

yeah move on it's been three years

**pandora:**

literally i hate u 2

**evil incarnate:**

gluck w ur lil crush lover boy

— — — —

**babez **♡:****

should we help minki?

**A Baby:**

ur rly 2 good 4 ur own good arent u

****babez **♡:**** **

well he did help us get together

if i hadn't met him i wouldn't have met you?

**A Baby:**

rnt u the one who said that we needed 2 move on frm that

**babez♡:**

well i don't want him to know we're helping out

be discreet

**A Baby:**

ok discreet boy do u want anythin frm the kitchen

 **babez** ♡:

water?

but also we have to talk

cause i was thinking

uh

cause

hmmmm

you know....

**A Baby:**

omg hong jisoo

r u breakin up w me????

 **babez** ♡ **:**

no

that's not

but we need to

uhhhhh

**A Baby:**

R U BREAKIN UP W ME

**babez♡ **:****

first of all, why would i ever break up with you

second, you're just in my kitchen i don't think breaking up via text would be my best course of action

third, hang on lemme just put my things away

**A Baby:**

breaking up w me is uR WORST COURSE OF ACTION HOW DRARE

— — — —

"Calm down, baby," is the first thing out of his mouth as he emerges from his room, looking up at his boyfriend who had a plate of their dinner in hand. "Put the plate down and stop letting your imagination get ahead of you."

"Listen I will not go into whatever talk this is unarmed," Jeonghan replies, brow raised before he put down the plate as he saw Jisoo sit on the couch, walking up to the kitchen counter and clutching his chest as he leans against it. "I can't believe this is happening," he starts, pitch higher as he moves to circle the counter, leaning back against it as he presses the back of his hand to his forehead, "I thought we were forever, but I guess it really doesn't exist."

"Drop the act and come here," Jisoo huffs, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend's dramatics, making a mental note to make sure he watches less television—or at least less dramas. He pats the seat beside him on the sofa, waiting for Jeonghan to take a seat, his boyfriend slightly pouting that his act wasn't well received, folding his legs up and wrapping his arms around them, resting his cheek on his knees.

"So," Jisoo starts, Jeonghan watching him with a raised brow. "You mentioned three years..."

"Three years?"

"Of us being together...care of Minki...."

"You were the one who mentioned that," Jeonghan corrects, waving a hand nonchalantly. "Okay, anyway, and?"

"Right so, it's been three years and you've been a constant in my life ever since."

"Right, and?"

"So like I said, three years, a life constant...." he trails off, humming as he cracks his knuckles.

"Hong Jisoo, you know I don't like it when you're beating around the bush like this. Spit it out," Jeonghan huffs, bringing his legs down as he sat up straight. "What is it?" His tone was that of concern and Jeonghan could feel this ball of dread building up at the pit of his stomach. Usually, whenever this happens, Jisoo's hiding a sort of surprise or is about to apologise for something he personally thinks is trivial but would weigh on the other's mind in a more extreme manner than he'd like. He knows that their relationship had been going smoothly and that the love they shared between them only grew over the past three years, but there's still a part of him that couldn't shake off the tiny voice in his head that told him they'd break up—that he wasn't enough for Jisoo. All those thoughts, however, were completely banished from his mind the moment Jisoo spoke.

"Wouldyouliketolivewithmesinceyou'realwayshereanywayandIreallydon'tmindandIloveyouloadssolikejustlivewithme."

Jeonghan couldn't help but let out a chuckle, inching closer as he brought a hand up and cupped his ear, humming. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Repeat it in a manner where actual human beings could understand?" He jests, a smile plastering itself onto his features.

"Live with me. Please?"

He was laughing as he moves to pull Jisoo in for a hug, falling back on the sofa and making sure he wraps his legs around his boyfriend as well, peppering his face with kisses. "Of course."

— — — —

**Jeonghan Y:**

WE'RE GON LIV 2GTHR

**☹min **☹:****

I see. Congratulations.

**Jeonghan Y:**

I SEE???? THAT'S IT????

u sure r enthusiastic abt this

**☹min **☹:****

Well it's more like you two are always together

And you're always at Jisoo's

I'm actually pretty surprised it took you two this long

But either way, congratulations

**Jeonghan Y:**

ur so damn annoyin omg but ily anywy thanks  **♡**

gluck w ur lil texty baby love  **♡**

****☹min **☹:**** **

Please never call him that again

And he's not my "love"

**Jeonghan Y:**

wtvr u say min~

im in a gr8 mood anywy so like idk man ur call u better step it up

n be happy like us or smth

u deserve it anyway

****☹min **☹:**** **

Thanks, I guess.

— — — —

**[ the box chatroom ]**

**evil incarnate:**

so were free frm the 1 yr curse

free frm the constant nagging tiny voice break up wtvr u call it curse

**our only hope:**

clingy s/o trope curse

**evil incarnate:**

yes sure that

n now we hav 2 make sure 2 survive this

n not succumb to the curse that is!!

DOMESTICITY

**pandora:**

what the hell r u 2 goin on abt

**our only hope:**

we're moving in together!

**pandora:**

oooo took u long enough

anywy congrats u demons

try not 2 summon satan while havin sex or smth

**evil incarnate:**

ugh y would we ever want u 2 walk in on us havin sex

**pandora:**

c h o k e

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 2:**

ok so mbe ur rite

mbe i do like this dingo boy a lil 2 much

**Circle 8:**

Dingo Boy?

**Circle 1:**

AHA

also thats his nickname 4 his d*ddy 

**Circle 2:**

more like thats what jonghyun calls him

bc he keeps censoring daddy

so he made me change his contact name on my phone

**Circle 1:**

fuk u i aint evr goin 2 call any1 d*ddy now icb this

u ruined it 4 me

**Circle 2:**

damn im sry

u missin out on a gr8 kink

**Circle 1:**

shUTFHEFKUC UP CHOI MINKI

**Circle 8:**

Anyway

So what were you saying?

Crush on Dingo Boy?

**Circle 2:**

yes ok so like

my 2 othr friends besides u guys

**Circle 8:**

Which Ones....

**Circle 2:**

the ones i got tgther rmbr them??

**Circle 8:**

Oh the ones that look like Angels but are actually Demons?

**Circle 2:**

ok only 1 of them is a demon

but anywy yes

**Circle 8:**

So what about Them?

**Circle 2:**

CAUSE LIKE THEYRE SO HAPPY

N CUTE N SHIT

N I GOT THEM TGTHR SO IM SUPER HAPPY 4 THEM 2

but lik e

i kinda want that 2

n its not like i just want a rs but its more like im scared

bc dingo boy is rly nice n caring 2 me even tho he know im wild as fuck

n i dont want 2 disappoint him by idk being me???

**Circle 1:**

wooo damn boy

RT

big mood

enlarged emotion

**Circle 2:**

fucking shut up kim jonghyun

but anyway so liKE YEA WHAT 2 DO

CAUSE Im p sure he likes me 2 cause like lmao who dont like me

bUT ALSO WHO WOULD EVER LIKE ME

**Circle 8:**

Ok before you say anything

Jonghyun gets it, we all get that you get it Jonghyun

Second of all since he likes you now and knows how Wild you are

Aren't you....all Good now?

**Circle 1:**

ok yea like its true tho like i mean

ur satan but like i l*ve u anyway

so like ur actually a p decent person ur not givin urself enough credit

ur so well liked by evrybody u hav so many friends that would be willing 2 kill 4 u lbr

so like idg y ur so scared when ur like

always so 'go into evrythin headfirst' 

**Circle 8:**

He's Right

Just go for it, Minki

We got you

If things go South, Wonwoo's told me enough trivia on how to hide a body to help

**Circle 2:**

ugh i h8 u guys i lov u sm

u cheesy fellowz

fml ily tnx will do

update u soon tnx tnx

also jonghyun fuck that whyd u censor love fuck u

**Circle 1:**

****

**— — — —**

**Mango:**

hey so uh

do u like uh

r u free tmrw?

**Dingo:**

yeah what's up?

**Mango:**

just idk do u like

wanan go out?

**Dingo:**

oh yeah sure

movie date?

**Mango:**

omg yes yes gr8

do u wanna watch pitch perfect 3 n be judgy

**Dingo:**

isn't that just us on a regular day?

haha

but yes, that sounds nice ^^

**Mango:**

omg yes

NICE see u tmrw @ 3? mall?

**Dingo:**

yup yup

text you then

**— — — —**

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 2:**

QUICK

AM I OK FOR THE DATE TODAY

**Circle 1:**

ur fine

**Circle 8:**

8/10

**Circle 2:**

ugh u suck @ cheol

just bc u cant suck dick 4 shit

**Circle 8:**

(Jonghyun voice) ding dong you are Wrong

**Circle 2:**

fuk u anYWAY FINE GTG TTYL

**Circle 1:**

Cheol: 1 Minki: 0

also 10/10 nc1

**Circle 8:**

That's why You're my Favourite, Jonghyun

**— — — —**

****Jonghyun **❤︎** **:**** **

******♡♡♡****** u 2♡♡♡

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

?

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

damn ok u gotta stop bein @ the top of my msgs

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

I'm sorry I text you so often?

Should I not?

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

what no omg pls dont

like

not text

I MEAN LIKE ITS NICE

talkin 2 u like this

i mean

UGH omg just anyway what were we talkin abt

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

Right

I was asking if I should dye my hair to black or go with brown instead

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

i vote brown

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

Okay, great

Gonna set up an appointment now

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

SEND ME A SELFIE WHEN UR DONE

just so i kno i didnt screw u over

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

Okay :)

And I'm pretty sure you won't, it's fine :)

Talk to you later

Have fun with me not being at the top of your messages :) Haha

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

AAAAAAA I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY OK

BUT ANYWAY ttyl im excited hehe


	5. 1-800-let-me-live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Minhyun❤︎:**  
>  Oh no  
>  Wish I could do something for you?  
>  Get yourself a muffin or something?
> 
>  **Jonghyun❤︎:**  
>  a muffin  
>  rly  
>  but ok fINE i deserve a muffin
> 
>  **Minhyun❤︎:**  
>  Yes, really  
>  You do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i'm jumping a lot since if i add every convo they'd ever have to get to convos i want to happen in the fic it would Never End so im sry for this

**Jonghyun** ❤︎:

jesus take the wheel

take the whole van

TAKE IT

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

You okay there?

 **Jonghyun** ❤︎:

NO

im havin d WORST Day i cant anymore

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Care to elaborate?

 **Jonghyun** ❤︎:

ok so u know how im an FA major right

bUT GUESS WHO WENT TO CLASS WITHOUT HIS FRIGGIN PENCIL CASE

ME

IT ME

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Couldn't you just borrow one?

 **Jonghyun** ❤︎:

no omg thats like not how we work

well at least not in that ONE CLASS I HAD FLJSDGJLKDJSF

rmbr that prof i told u abt

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

The one who quoted Despacito in his syllabus?

 **Jonghyun** ❤︎:

yES LSDKJFKLSJGSDF I'M OVER IT

HE GOT SO MAD Im so tired

i had ONE class today n it SUCKED

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Oh no

Wish I could do something for you?

Get yourself a muffin or something?

 **Jonghyun** ❤︎:

a muffin

rly

but ok fINE i deserve a muffin

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Yes, really

You do

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 2:**

u ok there jonghyun

u were on the verge of tears in our last class

lmao

**Circle 8:**

What Happened?

**Circle 2:**

he 4got his things

like he had so much shit in his bag

but no fuckn pencil case

lmaoooo

**Circle 8:**

Are you Okay, Jonghyun?

**Circle 1:**

NO LAJDG;LSKDJF

i didnt only 4get my pencil case

i 4got 2 pay for the tuition too

so now i have a lATE FEE FML

I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO IT WHEN I GOT TO SCHOOL BUT

NOTHING SOWRKING OUT

**Circle 8:**

Were you aware that there Are classes?

Its like you were taken by Surprise or something

**Circle 1:**

hshUT UP AAAAAA

im gon get a muffin

**Circle 2:**

lmao y

**Circle 1:**

minhyun said i deserve it

so im getting 1

**Circle 2:**

LMAO OK LOVER BOI

GO GET UR MUFFIN

c u tmrw dont 4get ur things

**Circle 1:**

SHUT UP MINKI

JUST BC U HAV PERMANENT DINGO DICK NOW

**Circle 8:**

Again, you guys have Private chats for this....

— — — —

**Mango:**

i modelled for class 2day

tell me im pretty

**Dingo:**

you're pretty ^^

**Mango:**

that dont sound sincere

**Dingo:**

don't know how to remedy that, minki

but yes, you look great

you always do. don't really know how you manage to pull that off, really

**Mango:**

as the prophet beyonce says, i woke up like this, i woke up like this. flawless.

also well a selfie would be nice :^ )

**Dingo:**

surprised that wasn't gaga

also what're you planning on doing with my face

**Mango:**

god has a lots of prophets n their teachins must b used at appropriate times

also ok idk lotsa things

but its gon be used 2 mostly brag

**Dingo:**

????

 **Mango:**  

ugh just send 1 ovr u loser

**Dingo:**

i had to awkwardly take a pic inside of a cab for you

you better brag properly

**Mango:**

YES

YAY

Y E S

NICE

A+

ok good lookin imma flaunt ur face now

ty darl

**Dingo:**

don't know if i should be worried or encouraging this

but well okay so long as you're happy i guess

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 2:**

1-10?

_[IMG_3123.JPG]_

**Circle 8:**

Solid 8

**Circle 1:**

8.5 he has nice yes

waIT

WHO IS THIS

MINKI

**Circle 2:**

ok screw u guys hes obvs an 11

a 12, actually :~)

**Circle 1:**

BYE MINKI

but also nice catch ig

n ty 4 not sending a nude of his

**Circle 2:**

um those r 4 my eyes only ???

just bc u n ur lover boi exchange nudes

**Circle 1:**

WE DONT SLJFSLDKG SHUT UP

**Circle 8:**

It's nice that you're Happy, Minki

He's good looking

Better than your last At Least

Didn't need the dick joke in there but Okay that's Fine

Now please, you two

Talk Privately

**Circle 2:**

ok grampz fine

but also tnx tnx

— — — —

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

FUCK GROUP WORK

THERE I SAID IT

FUCK IT

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

You okay there?

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

NO

im so far frm ok

its so annoyin like

if u cant finish on time TELL US ur gon drag d whole group down w ur attitude

damn it

im so tired

honey im tired

M IN HY UN *

FLKCNGSDFJ;SGDF

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

What happened there?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

idk but wnvr i type ur name

it turns into honey

honey

ITS SO ANNOYING WHY

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Did you mess with the autocorrect?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

no idk how

my phone is lit 4 games n msgs

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Do you know anyone who could've messed with it?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

MINKI

AAAAAA

hon

honey

hun

HE EVEN CHANGED THE M I N AND THE H Y U N SO I CANT EVEN

NICKNAME U

thats it im nvr callin u by ur name again

sry

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Haha it's fine

Call me whatever you want

Also I just got back from the salon :)

My friends said I looked fine so I don't think you ruined me with your decisions that badly

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

lsk;KJLASJGDF just bc i said!!

omg

is it ok

show me!!

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

****

Does it look fine?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

AAAAAAAA i did good

nice one self

you look amazin honey

M I N H Y U N*

i hate this how do i change it back

do u know how

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

It's fine like that :)

Call me whatever you want

But also, that's good

That you like my hair I mean

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

it nice!!

also sdlgjlskdf icb this

fine

u wont help me????

imma call u hey

das it its final

u did this

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

Technically it was Minki

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

aaaaaaaa fine okay fINE

u win

anywy tnx

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

For?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

nothin

talkin 2 u calms me down

uwu

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

That's great :)

Talk to you later I have class

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

hav fun honey

hav fun hey*

fsjdlgksdf

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

:)

— — — —

**Asshat:**

change mY AUTOCORRECT BACK

**Satan:**

no

google it u dumbass

or do u not want to :~)

**Asshat:**

i fkcn hate u

also wru

ur gon b late

**Satan:**

ur welcome :^)

im omw

its so hard to not be late when u dont wanna be there

**Asshat:**

get ur gay ass over here

im only takin this class cause of u

— — — —

**[ Mission Impossible chatroom ]**

**Client A:**

Okay he might be a little cute

**Agent Han:**

u've been sayin that for like MONTHS like

what he do now

**Client A:**

**Agent Han:**

does he not hv any othr angles lmao ??

**Agent Soo:**

i agree

are you sure you're not being scammed?

**Client A:**

Just cause he only has one angle?

**Agent Han:**

mbe he ugly n he hidin it w that one angle

**Client A:**

This one angle shows his entire face....

— — — —

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

Can you do me a favour?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

u???

me???

ur askin me 4 a favor???

omg go shoot

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

I'm trying to prove something to my friends

Could you...hmmmm

Take a selfie from the side?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

dat an odd thin 2 prove 2 ur friends?

whats this abt?

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

Please?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

UGH fine hang on

is that ok omg im sry

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

You....you really don't have to apologise for anything

Thanks

Your face is truly amazing

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

um tnx u 2?????

— — — —

**[ Mission Impossible Chatroom ]**

**Agent Han:**

ok u hav a point his face nice

not as nice as soo's but nice enough

**Client A:**

Okay Mr. Whipped

**Agent Han:**

if that was an attempt at a burn u suck

i am 100000/10 whipped like wyd

**Agent Soo:**

so anyway at least we know he ain't bein' scammed

i guess

**Agent Han:**

dont matter since the boy alrdy got his heart :">

**Client A:**

For one, we're just friends

For another, that emoticon just gave me war flashbacks of not seeing through my hair

Don't.

**Agent Soo:**

gotta agree with him on this one, han

**Agent Han:**

so ANYWAY whats the game plan

**Client A:**

There is no game plan

We're friends

( Rename  **Client A** to  **Lost Cause**? [ Yes] or [No] )

**Lost Cause:**

Jeonghan

**Agent Han:**

u rly need 2 meet up w him omg

or go out n meet new ppl

like will u spend ur life pining over a textmate

**Agent Soo:**

gotta agree with han on this one

**Agent Han:**

how bout u stop just agreein n add ur input babe :)

**Agent Soo:**

so anyway aren't you looking for a new roommate?

why don't you ask him if he knows anyone

**Agent Han:**

YES

OR BETTER YET ASK HIM TO BE YOUR ROOMMATE

**Lost Cause:**

No

That's awkward

We've never met in person and all of a sudden I ask him to be my roommate?

**Agent Han:**

omg u know u want 2 meet up w him jUST MEET UP W HIM

ASK HIM OUT

**Lost Cause:**

That's awkward

**Agent Han:**

wru

**Lost Cause:**

Front of Plato Hall

Why

— — — —

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

hey r u free nxt sat

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

this isn't honey

m i n h y u n*

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

omg seeing as u havnt changed that

u totes like him 2

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

who is this??

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

his friend

anywy r u free nxt sat

i stole his phone n im runnin out of breath

quick

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

i mean ya sure

but y???

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

NICE

I'LL DELETE ALL THE MSGS DW

JUST MSG HIM ABT SATURDAY

SAY 10 AM IN DAYBREAK PLAZA

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

ok?????

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

My friend took my phone

Did he say anything to you?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

nothin??

r u ok

also hey so 10 am daybreak plaza nxt sat?

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

What?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

oh uh nvm??? omg????

im sry

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

No no that's fine!

See you next week?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

c u c u

ttyl

shift time

**Minhyun ** ** **❤︎****** :**

You said you'd quit that job two months ago

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

I NEED TO EAT

I NEED 2 SURVIVE

LET ME LIVE

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 1:**

can u 2 drop by next sat

n help me pick out clothes

**Circle 8:**

I'm Free

But also Why?

**Circle 2:**

ITS A DATE

**Circle 1:**

ITS A DATE

**Circle 2:**

R U SEROISUSLDUFSDF

I WAS LIKE HALF KIDDING

**Circle 8:**

That's Great

Who with?

**Circle 1:**

m i n h y u n

**Circle 2:**

omg u still didnt change it???

lmaoooo u a goner

**Circle 1:**

ok its cute but anyway

ill change it b4 nxt week

so r u guys free

**Circle 8:**

Like I said, I'm Free

And Happy for you

**Circle 2:**

omg icb this

my lil baby

goin on a date

im so proud

**Circle 1:**

arigatou my tomodachideul

**Circle 8:**

Way to ruin A Moment, Jonghyun

**Circle 2:**

im outta here

u on ur own

**Circle 1:**

NO WAIT

— — — —

**[ Mission Impossible chatroom ]**

**Lost Cause:**

I think I just got asked out?

**Agent Soo:**

oh good

that's great!

by?

**Lost Cause:**

Jonghyun

**Agent Han:**

THERE WE GO

**Lost Cause:**

What did you do?

**Agent Soo:**

what did who do?

**Lost Cause:**

You know what I'm talking about, Jeonghan

What did you do?

**Agent Han:**

help u is what

he seems like a nice boy

n u havnt stopped talkin abt him since u """""met""""" him

n since he seems 2 b enjoyin ur ratty company

**Lost Cause:**

My company isn't ratty

**Agent Han:**

he abt as smitten as u

**Agent Soo:**

han has a point

we've never really seen you so smitten with anyone before?

kinda salty cause me and han have known you for so long but he gets to see this side of you first

or well? read?

**Lost Cause:**

Whatever you demons

But okay fine he's easy to talk to

And always entertains me and cheers me on

**Agent Han:**

we do that too omg u ungrateful lil

**Lost Cause:**

Begone, you demons

**Agent Han:**

RUDE

**Lost Cause:**

Anyway he's just fun to talk to

I was fine with the way things were, you know

I didn't need to see him in person

**Agent Soo:**

i'm such an angel you're being too mean to han

also well but seeing him in person means you get to talk to him in person

and cheer each other up and be there for each other physically

wouldn't that be better?

**Lost Cause:**

Both of you are demons and you know it

**Agent Han:**

angels*

icb u shoved me under the bus, babe

u just broke my heart

**Agent Soo:**

han please

also could you buy some ice cream before you come home?

we're all out

**Agent Han:**

ugh fine

**Lost Cause:**

So anyway, you domestic demons

**Agent Han:**

u rly gotta step up ur nickname game

**Lost Cause:**

Being there for each other physically would be nice but

What if I'd just be a bother? I don't want to be a bother

And I don't even know what if we're super different in person?

Wow this is giving me a lot more anxiety than excitement

**Agent Han:**

das fine get all d anxiety out n let the excitement slowly come in

u can do it

**Agent Soo:**

yeah and really it's so weird seeing you like this?

i mean, just saying?

but really this is also nice i guess

you've become attached, haven't you

**Agent Han:**

well they do talk evryday

so like

**Lost Cause:**

Again, not helping

Okay maybe a little

I'll mull this over

Text you two later

Thanks, I guess

But I still hate you for stealing my phone, Han

**Agent Han:**

I HELPED

**Agent Soo:**

you stole his phone?????

**Agent Han:**

I !!!!! HELPED !!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok mbe its abt to end mbe its not IDK WHERE THIS IS GOIN but i rly wanted them 2 meet n i didnt want it 2 drag out bc rly i dont hav a reason 4 it to ??? like if this happened 2 me n we hit it off (which will 10/10 nvr happen lmao) i probs wouldve asked 4 a meet up asap??? esp if they might be near me but well that'll be their problem in the next chap i guess :~)
> 
> also all the prof/school stories that happened in this chapter happened to me the past 2 days so :' ) pray 4 me lmao
> 
> i love love love all y'all's comments thank u guyz!! havnt gotten around 2 replyin 2 all of 'em but hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/softhyunss) or [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/vvalpurgisnacht) so i can reply faster!! hehe ily guys thank u 4 readin!!


	6. screenshots taken, screenshots sent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> think of this as a sort of filler ? like little snippets to show how their r/s progressed over the months and how small the world really is
> 
> this is all set before 10 am @ daybreak plaza btw! (basically during chaps 3-4)  
> BASICALLY this chap has little to no bearing to the story progression lmao im sry its rly just me bein dumb
> 
> italicised items are the ones screenshot-ed and sent in the following series of texts

**Jonghyun **❤︎**** :

3 am 20 qs?

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

First of all, it's 10 pm

**Jonghyun **❤︎:****

ok fair point but im bored n on shift help me

i alwys help u

r u 2 busy revising 4 me ? ? ??

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

That's not what I said

Anyway, it's fine

I'm on a break anyway

Or rather, I'm refusing to function properly

 **Jonghyun **❤︎**** :

did smth happen? :(

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

No, not really

It's more like, I have no energy

It happens sometimes

Anyway, what're you up to? Thought we were playing

 **Jonghyun **❤︎**** :

RIGHT

hmmmm i arldy asked abt ur bday

ur age

ur name

uhhhhhh ik ur in prelaw

what else

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

At this point is there anything we don't know?

About each other?

I mean like, basic facts wise

 **Jonghyun **❤︎**** :

ngl idk

hmmmm O I GOT ONE But like will u b comfy w this

uhhhhhhHhhHhhhhHHHH i promise not to do anythin w this info

but like

what uni do u go to?

LIKE IMM MM SO RRY

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

That's fine, it's nothing big

Not like you can suddenly find me on campus?

Haha

But I go to Choerry Uni

You?

 **Jonghyun **❤︎**** :

omg thats like

2 blocks away from mine ? ?? 

or i think idk lmao idek how far a block is

but like its walking distance

my other friend thats not minki goes there 2

i go to ViViD Uni!!

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

Right you did mention you're an FA major

How's that going for you?

 **Jonghyun **❤︎**** :

same old same old

anywy omg these teeny boppers r like tryin 2 buy alcohol

ttyl

— ———

 ** Bet Boy ** ** : **

You free?

 ** Jonghyun [Jun's Party]:** 

do u hav a copy of my sched bc

( Rename  **Bet Boy**  to  **Booty Call**? [ Yes] or [No] )

 ** Booty Call ** :

If youre looking for someone to blame blame it on minki btw

So u comin?

** Jonghyun [Jun's Party]: **

icb i became ur booty call

 ** Booty Call ** :

Oh please its like im not urs too

** Jonghyun [Jun's Party]: **

FI N E you hav a point

but 2day lets just hang

im tired :c

** Booty Call: **

Thats fine im just bored

N ur actually p interesting so

Ive decided im keeping u

** Jonghyun [Jun's Party]: **

wow tnx???

im so honoured???

**Booty Call:**

U better be

( Rename  **Jonghyun [Jun's Party]**  to  **Jonghyunnie**? [ Yes] or [No] )

— ———

**Booty Call:**

U free?

**Jonghyunnie:**

what now

**Booty Call:**

Wow

Great 2 c that my presence is appreciated in ur life

**Jonghyunnie:**

sldgjlsdkjgla;kdjsfs no

i mean like

anywy i legit just saw u

_**Booty Call:** _

_Yea thats gr8_

_Uv been blessed once 2day_

_Now make it twice_

_Im bored jonghyun_

_Hang w me_

_**Jonghyunnie:** _

_ur lit my most needy friend rn_

_icb this_

_u've out needied choi minki_

_**Booty Call:** _

_Suddenly we dont need 2 hang_

_Jk_

_Daybreak plaza?_

_**Jonghyunnie:** _

_slkdjglskdja;dsf this is like_

_the fifth time_

_**Booty Call:** _

_Tnx 4 bein my booty call :*_

_**Jonghyunnie:** _

_IM BLOCKING U_

— ———

** [ hell holes ;~) chatroom ] **

** Circle 1: **

_ [ Screen Shot at 12.48 PM ] _

does this count as flirting or bein friendly

** Circle 8: **

Jonghyun you're 23

You can't differentiate flirting and friendliness?

Joke okay I just Read it and it's from Mingyu

Probably a mix of both

** Circle 2: **

ICB THIS

FLIRT BACK

DONT BE JUST A BOOTY CALL

** Circle 1: **

but like

i actually like him as a friend

so likeeeee

what do

** Circle 2: **

omg icb u just

like ? someone w such a good dick ?

as a friend ?

wtf ?

** Circle 8: **

Not the point, Minki

But anyway, if you like him as a Friend then....

Just hanging out is Fine right?

Idk, don't Fuck him? I guess? Is my only advice right now?

** Circle 2: **

ok yea tru

u cant do casual flings anywy

i mean ur bet boy became ur booty call n now u wanna b friendz

so like

lmao ?

just idk emphasise u 2 bein friendz

** Circle 1: **

ok fine u hav a point

but anywy yea like i just like hanging out w him

but like date dates? ? ? ? r just ? ? 

plus like....we click but not in a rs click typa way

do u feel

** Circle 2: **

yea yea wtvr u say

just dont fuck

gluck w that tho lmaooooo

** Circle 8: **

So Ignoring Minki, you should be fine

Mingyu's pretty Chill anyway

Have fun making new friends

** Circle 1: **

sdljga;lskgdjsaf ok rite

just dont fuck

i can do this lmao im not minki

ttyl ty guyz

** Circle 2: **

FfFfUFFUUCK K U

( Rename  **Booty Call**  to **Gyubae**? [ Yes] or [No] )

————

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**  


**Circle 2:**

a casual daytime look

yay or nay

** Circle 8: **

I mean

Sure

** Circle 1: **

yea like

if u lived in the dark

ig

** Circle 2: **

ok fuCK U 2

** Circle 8: **

So what's this "casual daytime look" for?

** Circle 1: **

yea like

u nvr ask us abt ur face

uNLESS

I_Got_A_Boy.mp3

** Circle 2: **

NO

no

just i just

wanted 2 bless u guys w my face

shut it ok bye

————

** Mango: **

be honest

_[IMG_1256.JPG]_

yay or nay

?

**Daddy:**

you look fine?

why?

**Mango:**

nothing my friends said nay

so i was like oooo mbe i should change looks

but sine u say its fine n its 4 u anywy

it all good

**Daddy:**

you really dont have to dress up for me?

just saying, you look great anyway

see you in a few?

** ———— **

_**Satan:** _

_cant wait :* c u daddy :*_

_made sure 2 wear ur fave lace 4 2day :*_

_**Asshat:** _

_choi minki whAT THE FUC K_

**Satan:**

FUCK

_** ———— ** _

**My Fave:**

pretend u know nothing

buT

HOLFYSDLISDGFS

_[ Screen Shot at 1.06 PM ]_

**my fave:**

Do I....

Do I want to ask.....

**My Fave:**

nothin imma probe more

but anywy if i evr bring this up

pRETEND U KNOW NOTHING OK

ily

**my fave:**

Love you too?

Unsure what to Feel about this Entire Thing

Didn't need to see this, actually

**My Fave:**

if i suffer u suffer

:*

_** ———— ** _

**Jonghyun **❤︎**** :

so where were we

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

We were here

What

**Jonghyun **❤︎:****

i meant the CONVO but ok mr latin honours

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

Stop

But also

I'm tired

I'm super sleepy

**Jonghyun **❤︎:****

OMG min just go to sleep

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

I can't

That's what you're here for

**Jonghyun **❤︎:****

am i just an alarm clock 2 u

huh

is that it

hav i been reduced from friend 2 alarm clock

</3

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

I didn't mean it that way

Don't be </3

**Jonghyun **❤︎:****

omg u just used an emoji that isn't a happy face

its over u need 2 sleep

asap

its for the good of the world minhyun

sleep

 ** ** **Minhyun **❤︎******** :

I didn't revise at all last night

I only talked to you

I have to study tonight

**Jonghyun **❤︎:****

no u dont omg

ur doin gr8

u gotta take care of urself tho

how u gon get that latin honour if ur sick :cccccc

take care of urself pls

imma stop replying 2 ur texts if u dont sleep rn!! >:c

_******Minhyun **❤︎******** :_

_You're precious_

_Okay, fine_

_Good night Jonghyun_

_Talk to you later_

_** ———— ** _

**Asshat:**

_[ Screen Shot at 3.31 AM ]_

should i be blushin

im blushin

**Satan:**

ur so far gone

gluck gettin outta that ass lmao

**Asshat:**

fckn hate u

_** ———— ** _

**Gyubae:**

I mean if hes into u?

And calls u cute

Just go for it?

**Jonghyunnie:**

icb im askin 4 advice frm my booty call

what has the world come 2

**Gyubae:**

Thought we evolved from booty call to baes?

**Jonghyunnie:**

ugh how fuckboi of u

**Gyubae:**

:*

But anyway yeah i agree w minki on this one

Thats a rl bad thing i feel like but yk

**Jonghyunnie:**

TRU

nothin good cms out frm agreeing w minki

so like

**Gyubae:**

Except me and that P5 game :*

**Jonghyunnie:**

SO ANYWAY

ttyl

meet at rltl at 5?

**Gyubae:**

Yup yup

C u

_** ———— ** _

**My Fave:**

u busy?

**my fave:**

I Am

Sorry

With Minki's demon cohorts

**My Fave:**

damn ok fine ill ask minki

ttyl hav fun

dont summon satan i need him

ty ily

**my fave:**

Tell me if you need me

Call if it's Important

Ttyl love you 2

_** ———— ** _

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

help me hes rly cute :~(

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

Who is?

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

L;SKJAGL;KJDSGASD why do i keep sending u wrONG TEXTS

im so sry u must b so tired of me

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

 I already told you it's fine

And I also told you to stop apologising for everything

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

RIGHT IM SRY

I MEAN LIKE

UHHHH

sumimasorry*

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

Don't see how that's any different

Except that it's a weeb version of an apology

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

;lKSJDGLA;JLGKASDF u know what a weeb is n

2 u

i

am a weeb

its over i hav no image 2 uphold goODBYE

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

I was kidding!

I didn't know you didn't like the word weeb that much

I'm sorry

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

AAAAAA no its nOT THAT ITS JUST

more like

idk i thought ud find it weird

n not like it

yk

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

Well if it's any consolation

I watched Fullmetal Alchemist growing up?

Or rather, it was the one thing on the telly that was animated

So I watched it to feel like I fit in as a teen since people often told me I act like an adult

But that show....wasn't really all for kids, now that I think about it

**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****

oMG ok

so impt q:

fma or fma:b

**Minhyun **❤︎** **:****

Love how you just skipped over that entire childhood story for that question

You truly are an odd little duck

Anyway FMA:B obviously

I may not have Latin honours yet but I at least know it's FMA:B

_**Jonghyun **❤︎** **:****  _

_ohmgyod ur perfect_

_** _** — ——— ** _ ** _

** [ Mission Impossible chatroom ] **

** Client A: **

Is this good?

_ [ Screen Shot at 2.13 PM ] _

** Agent Han: **

omg what did u DO

wtvr it is u doin gr8 sweetie

** Client A: **

Please never call me that again

It's weird

** Agent Han: **

ok bitch

anywAY what did u say b4 that

omg

** Client A: **

We were talking about animations

Specifically Fullmetal Alchemist

I said I preferred Brotherhood

That's it

** Agent Soo: **

so you should

but also omg hyung

you two are perfect together

** Agent Han: **

RIGHT

were totes winning this bet

** Client A: **

No you're not

** Agent Han: **

o plz

its not like ur gon lose anythin if u lose this bet

U GON GAIN A BF 

if u just fuCKN ASK HIM 2 MEET UP

hes like riGHT THERE TOO

** Agent Soo: **

right yeah he studies nearby right

just ask him out and let this bet end

** Client A: **

And give you two demons that satisfaction?

No way

** Agent Han: **

HARDASS

_** ———— ** _

** Asshat: **

r u busy

** Satan: **

always

y

**Asshat:**

UGH just this ONCE pls

cheol is w ur demon cohorts

so anywy

is it weird if u like find sm1 cute n stuff

n think theyre perfect

**Satan:**

for normal ppl, no

for u, yea

y

**Asshat:**

BITCH

but also idk like i get all tingly ????

whenevr i talk 2 minhyun now

like idk its weird

idk whats happening

**Satan:**

well if its not u orgasming then

a crush

 u have a crush on ur textmate

icb this

**Asshat:**

OK BITCH BYE

hav fun w ur d*ddy

n ur "casual" thing bITCH

thatll bite u in the ass one day bet

**Satan:**

he alrdy do :^)

**Asshat:**

i fUCKN HATE U


	7. 1-800-did-i-ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can still cancel, you know," Minki hummed, poking the other's hair whorl. "I mean it'd be better if you do, instead of you possibly vomiting all over him when you finally meet."
> 
> "But that'd be so sad! I don't want to cancel," he groans, pressing on his temples. His head was throbbing and his eyes weren't focusing properly and he blamed the four consecutive fireball shots he took due to Minki's chiding. "It's my fault for being dumb and listening to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes there are PARAGRAPHS oh no
> 
> also the bag thing rly did happen to me so lmao end me
> 
> hope y'all like this mediocre as heck update AHAHAHAHAH <3 u all im running out of jokes n humour immmmm sry

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

 hey hey

so remember when i asked jesus to take the entire van

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Oh no

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

TAKE EVERYTHING @ GOD

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

What happened?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

ok so like lmao i was walkin home rite

frm school n shit

n i was alrdy halfway home

when i realised

i haD NO BAG

HAHAHAHAH I FORGOT MY ENTIRE BAG, MINHYUN

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Oh you fixed the thing

Anyway, not the point

Okay so did you get it back at least?

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

its only monday end me alrdy

i cant

also i did there were still ppl left in the room so it was safe

plus i aint got anythin any1 can steal so like lmao

but yea im tIRED

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

It's fine, we all have those days

And at least nothing was stolen!!

It's only Monday, you'll live

**Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :**

omg u were actually able 2 sound enthusiastic abt something lmao thats amazing

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Do I usually not?

Sound enthusiastic, I mean

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

omg no like u used !!s

i didnt mean anything bad by it im sry omg

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

No it's fine! It was just a question :)

Anyway so are we going to plan for this coming weekend?

Or are we winging it?

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

OMG RIGHT

SATURDAY

uHHhhhhhh do u wna do smth specific or?

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

You forgot we had plans

Can't say I'm not hurt

Haha

But anything's fine with me :)

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

omg im SRY IM SUPER EXCITED ABT IT THO

imma hav 2 plan my outfit early on

also omg ur not helping can u like pick smth 2 do

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

You'll look fine in anything don't worry about it :)

Well there's movies? But we won't get to talk much

Unless movie then we eat out?

But then all we'll talk about after would be the movie?

See I really can't help much either way 

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

oaa;sdjgsladkfls were hopeless i cant

lets just wing it ig

ttyl i jgh n imma crash

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Alright, sleep well!

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 1:**

u guys busy rn

**Circle 8:**

What's up?

**Circle 2:**

??

**Circle 1:**

o uh

nothin much just

uHHHHhhhHhh weds bluez or smth

**Circle 8:**

Right, you quit your one job

You bored?

**Circle 2:**

u think 2 much when ur bored

r u ok

**Circle 1:**

YEA YEA just cause like

been havin a bad week so like

im tired n stuff n i wanna b excited abt smth again

n i dont wana bother min abt it cause well

idk if we that close yet but like

idk

n like i dont wanna bother u 2 too but like

i feel like at least i could bother u guys abt it lmao

i bet yall r sick of my ass

**Circle 2:**

im sick of ur ass for other reasons dw

but u could just talk 2 him if u want 2 yk

i mean were always here n stuff but

 

 

**Circle 8:**

Maybe you need someone New to talk to too?

**Circle 2:**

yea exactly that

like were always here so like u probs got used 2 us nagging alrdy

**Circle 8:**

And you Like that boy and he makes you Happy

Even with Just Texting

Pretty sure he feels the same way

Cheer yourself up and Text Him

**Circle 2:**

with how u guys hav been talkin

im p sure u wont b a bother

**Circle 1:**

YEA BUT U NVR KNOW idk im so

ughGHhghH Help

**Circle 2:**

help urself

to that ~ ass ~

or dick lmao who takes which up

**Circle 1:**

NOT EVERYTHINGS ABT FUCKING, MINKI

also he seems tall n idk well built

n has a nice frame just from pics

nice broad shoulders n stuff

ohMY GOD I HATE YOU

**Circle 2:**

I GOT U TO LOOSEN UP CAN U LIKE

APPRECIATE ME

**Circle 8:**

Well he has a Point, slighty....Maybe

**Circle 1:**

yea but now it'll be AWKWARD to talk 2 him after talkin abt his body

lIKE DO U FEEL

**Circle 2:**

lmao no like do u not know how sexting starts lmao

**Circle 1:**

ok gbye

**Circle 8:**

Feel better

Love you

**Circle 1:**

love u 2 :~(

**Circle 2:**

wheres mine ? ?? 

**Circle 1:**

go choke

— — — —

 

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

so anyway haha

r u busy or smth

 **Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** 

Not particularly

What's up?

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

nothin!!

just idk wanted 2 chill n hav sm1 2 talk to

 **Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** 

No you're good

Been busy with work?

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

the opposite!!

i quite the thing rmbr

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

 Ah right

I forget

What's it like having free time? 

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

now c u would have this 2 if u tOOK CARE OF URSELF

but aNYWAY mr latin honours

it sucks a lil i think

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Oh why? 

What's up?  

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

nah its more like i

tend 2 overthink? when im alone ? n bored?

lmao

like suddenly

omg what if evry1 i love secretly hates me

type

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

First off, I don't think anyone could ever hate you 

Second, do you want to talk about it? 

And third, do you want to, if you don't want the second option, plan for Saturday?

So you have something else to think about 

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

omg ok good idea

so like

daybreak plaza right

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Right 

Movie and dinner? 

Or lunch then movie? 

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

why not both

i mean like

lunch - movie - dinner

so like we can talk abt smth else b4 going full geek abt the movie

whatre we even watching

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

What's out right now? 

I'm not usually up to date with movies  

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

UHHHHHHH there's the greatest showman

oH WAIT NO

BLACK PANTHER

OH H HH H M GYOOOOD THE TRAILER LOOKS SO GOOD lets go its done im setting it now

im sry u hav 0 say the hype is REAL AS HECK

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

That's fine with me :) 

So long as you're good 

So what're we having for lunch and dinner? 

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

omg w8 i didnt think this through

uhHHHH food court lmao jk jkj kj kjkajsg;askldjfs; im not that lame

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Why is going to the food court lame?  

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

u usually dont bring ur dates to the food court, minhyun,

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Okay, so it's officially a date? 

:)  

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

;KJSADGL;KJSDLGJSDF I MEAN

UNLESS U DONT WANT IT TO BE

THAT'S FINE TOO

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

No no, it's fine 

Date :) 

Also go think of where we can eat for a while

I need to do some paperwork 

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

paperwork??? for????

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

I got an internship! 

Just started today 

Nothing big :) 

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

AAAAA WHY DIDN'T U TELL ME!!!

CONGRATS!!!!!!

ok i will stop bothering u now

tELL ME MORE ABT IT LATER THO OK IM HAPPY 4 U!!!

— — — —

**[ Mission Impossible chatroom ]**

**Lost Cause:**

Suddenly I can't wait for Saturday

**Agent Soo:**

what's with the change of heart?

**Lost Cause:**

Jonghyun and I were talking about what to do

It seems fun

**Agent Han:**

YOU GETTIN JITTERY ABT UR LIL DATE

EVEN THO SAID DATE ONLY HAS ONE ANGLE

**Lost Cause:**

Shut up

He's mastered it, is all

**Agent Han:**

MASTERED IT

UR WHIPPED U A GONER

ANYWY

IM EXCITED N HAPPY 4 U

also for us cause babe WE WINNING!  ! !!

**Lost Cause:**

That's not entirely true

**Agent Han:**

and why tf not

**Lost Cause:**

Cause it was Jonghyun that asked me out first

**Agent Han:**

omg no i set u up

using ur phone

when i stole it

rmbr

like ? ?? excuse u !! ! u owe this all TO ME

**Lost Cause:**

Did you now?

Cause I can't find any texts that would state otherwise

**Agent Soo:**

oh babe you deleted the receipts

**Agent Han:**

I DELETED THE RECEIPTS

**Lost Cause:**

Check and mate

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 1:**

wru

**Circle 2:**

busy

**Circle 1:**

yea yea as usual

**Circle 2:**

why

**Circle 8:**

I'm just in the Library

What's up

**Circle 1:**

can u drop by a day early

to help w my outfit choices

n idk like my general well being

im gonna vOMIT I CANT DO THIS IM SO SCARED 4 TMRW

**Circle 2:**

u said saturday

i aint goin 2 ur place until saturday

**Circle 1:**

WHY!!!

**Circle 2:**

i have my priorities straight

even if im not

i cant just cum and go

so

**Circle 1:**

ok fiRST OF ALL ur gROSS AS FUCK BYE

anywy

Cheol?

**Circle 8:**

Sorry, I'm out with Wonwoo and Jihoon

They brought over some Tequila and Whiskey

**Circle 1:**

omg can i come

pls i need 2 like not panic lmao

**Circle 8:**

Sure but aren't you meeting early tomorrow?

**Circle 1:**

its gonna b fine

were meeting at like 12.30 or smth haha

**Circle 8:**

If You Say So

**Circle 2:**

WAIT IS JONGHYUN GETTING DRUNK

IM HEADING OVER

SEE U

**Circle 1:**

i thOUGHT U HAD UR PRIORITES STRAIGHT, MINKI,

**Circle 2:**

I DO

SEEING U EMBARRASS URSELF N WANT 2 COMBUST

BUT ALSO NOT WANTING 2 BC UR ANIMES ARENT FINISHED

IS WHAT GIVES ME LIFE most days sometimes

my priorities are straight ill see u l8r loser

**Circle 1:**

i fkcn hate u

— — — —

"Why did I let you talk me into taking shots past midnight?" Jonghyun sighed, his face buried in his hands. It was a little past noon and he was nursing a hangover right before he was slated to meet Minhyun, periodically glaring at Minki (who sat opposite to him).

"It wasn't my fault you were so affected by that Erased whatever anime. I wasn't even the one who brought it up, it was Jihoon and Wonwoo. Blame them," Minki replied, shrugging as he took another bite of the cookie they were sharing. The two sat in the patio area of a small cafe, Jonghyun buying a cookie and some water to help nurse his hangover but opting not to eat anything as he felt his stomach churn when he took the first bite.

"You can still cancel, you know," Minki hummed, poking the other's hair whorl. "I mean it'd be better if you do, instead of you possibly vomiting all over him when you finally meet."

"But that'd be so sad! I don't want to cancel," he groans, pressing on his temples. His head was throbbing and his eyes weren't focusing properly and he blamed the four consecutive fireball shots he took due to Minki's chiding. "It's my fault for being dumb and listening to you."

"Hey, you said you wanted to get rid of your jitters. Everyone just tried to help," he shrugged, the other three still in Seungcheol's apartment, either asleep or cleaning up after vomiting all over the kitchen.

"That could've been solved with a chill night of drinking and talking! No one needed your little games, Minki!"

"Everyone participated and was down for them! I just suggested!"

"I'm never going to ask you for favours ever again," he grumbled, taking another swig from his water bottle.

"Yeah right. Like you can live without me."

— — — —

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

 wru

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

 I'm near

Where are we meeting, exactly?

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

omg uh hh h h 

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Is there something wrong?

 

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

no!!

just that ughhh

cause like i drank yday to idk get rid of some jitters for 2day

n we ended up playing a game

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

A game? 

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

yea like

we watched rpdr

n took a shot every time someone threw shade

no1 thought itd be that bad

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Oh no :(

Are you okay?

Do you want to cancel? 

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

NO OMG

IM JUST Syaung

like i dont look mY BEST

i tried ok pls

i mean i didnt try as much as i suually try given the circumstance

but like

i tried to a degree

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

An attempt was made

I understand

You'll look nice regardless

But are you sure you don't want to cancel? 

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

wru again

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Oh um

I'm actually by RLTL right now 

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

perf ok im like inside

in the patio area so like outside 2 if u get it

idk my phone is so bright i dont understand life anymore

c u c u

— — — —

Jonghyun still had his head down when Minhyun came up to their table, Minki smacking his arm to get him to look up. For one, he did believe that seeing someone's face could make a hangover worsen, but that's usually due to distaste. When he saw Minhyun, it was more in the line of not being able to stare directly into the sun for too long.

"Hey lover boy, you really gonna be okay for today?" Minki snapped him out of his thoughts, the whiplash that came from abruptly looking at Minki making his vision sway. He had to close his eyes for a few seconds before replying, pinching the bridge of his nose while doing so.

"I'll be fine. Go ahead with your own date, I don't want you to make your Dingo boy wait."

"His name is Dongho and fine," he replies, getting up from his seat and patting Minhyun's shoulder.  _He looks decent. A good face, good body._ "Take care of him for me, yeah?"

"Will do," Minhyun hummed, and Minki swore he could see Jonghyun swoon at the tone of his voice.

Minhyun took Minki's seat, elbows resting on the table as he took his time to stare at Jonghyun, smiling all the while. Though he may not have looked as bright and cheery as he did in some of the photos he sent, it still felt surreal to be sitting there, face to face, basking in each other's presence. He was a sight to behold, Minhyun mused. A  _good face_.

"You sure you wanna continue the date? We could always reschedule," he hummed, reaching over to fix Jonghyun's fringe, the boy stilling in his seat as he did so. Was that too forward of him? Though, seeing the other flush made his smile wider, maybe he shouldn't have...

He was called out of his thoughts when Jonghyun replied with a rather forced "It's fine!", followed by a small groan as the boy tried to compose himself once more. "We're already here, it's a shame if we just go home now," the boy reasoned out, slumping a little in his seat.

"Well, we could skip the movie, then. Might be a little too much for you, yeah?"

"But Black Panther!"

"Black Panther could wait, it'll probably still be showing next week. You keep nagging at me to take care of myself but here you are, not taking care of yourself," Minhyun chuckled, shaking his head. "You wanna just grab some food for take out? I mean, we could stay at my place instead? So you could rest after eating. Or your place? Whichever's nearer! Or if you aren't comfortable with that, we could always just eat and call it a day! I mean--" he huffed, biting his inner cheek, blinking rapidly as he refused to maintain eye contact for the meantime. He was droning on and on and blabbering about their plans when the they had  _just_ met. He'd just scolded himself internally for being too forward yet there he was, being forward. 

Jonghyun, in turn, chuckled at his current plight and wrecked internal sense of being. His laughter had put Minhyun to ease, making him laugh a bit as well, before the two settled down and resumed to talk about their plans. And while laughter made Jonghyun's head ache a tad bit more, Minhyun's had this melodic tone to it that he found endearing enough to not pay attention to his hangover, even if it was just for a few seconds.

"It's fine, it's fine," Jonghyun hummed, and a smile was plastered onto Minhyun's features as he spoke. The boy had never found anyone this endearing before, and though he didn't want to brag, he's been approached by many suitors in the past decade and never has his heart done backflips. Jonghyun was a presence that put him at ease and made him momentarily forget about everything that's happening in his life--and if he was able to do that through texts, what more now that the person was actually in front of him?

"My place isn't far, but it's not that clean. I remember you said you liked everything neat? So...." Jonghyun trailed off, fingers drumming on the table, waiting for Minhyun's thoughts.

"My place it is. What're we getting for takeout?"

"Chicken?"

"Chicken it is. Let's go?"

"Let's."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I TRIED LMAO i wanted 2 include their lil adventures in minhyun's apt in this chap alrdy but also it'd be too long for a usual chap so like nvm lmao
> 
> which one should i update next? ongbugi or the other 2hyun ongoing fics i have lmaoOOOOO
> 
> hmu @ [twitter](https://twitter.com/vvithsus) and/or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/vvalpurgisnacht)!!


	8. 1-800-sos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the timeline might be messy im not sure anymore im sry this is jobless culture jks bye idk what im doing anymore iM SRY FOR THIS!!

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 1:**

sos

SOS

**Circle 2:**

what do u want

**Circle 8:**

Everything alright?

**Circle 1:**

GUESS WHERE I AM

**Circle 2:**

im not here 2 play guessin games gbye

**Circle 1:**

MINHYUN'S APT

**Circle 2:**

BITCH U MOVE FAST

**Circle 8:**

Minki, no

But?

What's going on?

**Circle 1:**

THATS WHAT I WNA KNOW 

i mean ok we like got takeout cause i wasnt feelin well rite

cause yall r alcoholics

**Circle 2:**

we all r wtf

**Circle 1:**

n then i THINK we started talkin or smth while we ate bUT I FELL ASLEEP

NOW I JWU AND IM ON A SOFA AND IDK WHERE MINHYUN IS

HELP IM GNA BE MURDERED N EATEN BET

**Circle 2:**

welp that wasnt the kind of eating i thought u'd experience 2nite

**Circle 8:**

Minki.

**Circle 2:**

WHAT i was rootin 4 him in my own way

**Circle 8:**

Did you try texting him?

**Circle 1:**

oh lmao bitch

u rite

**Circle 8:**

Jonghyun....

**Circle 2:**

stupid ass i hope u get eaten tf

**Circle 1:**

thanks :*

**Circle 2:**

NO!!!!! THATS NOT!!!!!

**Circle 8:**

You walked into that one, Minki

1-0

— — — —

****Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

uh hello

i...think i fell asleep on u im sry

but also

wru.....

**Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :**

Oh you're awake!

My bad, I went out to get some food for dinner!

I hope you like pizza?

Basic, I know, but it was the nearest place.

Thought I could come back before you woke up.

Almost home though! :)

"Oh, he's chatty," Jonghyun hums, brows furrowed. His head still ached a bit and he wasn't going to lie and say he wasn't the least bit tipsy when he came and agreed to the whole chicken take-out but tipsy Jonghyun just dived right into this meeting head first, any and all consequences be damned. He expected a fun date, getting to know each other, playing 20 questions in real life, but alas, what he got was bleary memories of half-minded conversations and a fox printed comforter placed atop him on a sofa after falling asleep on a date. "God, I'm done for," he whispers to himself, just as he hears the front door click while he tried to type up a response.

"Oh, welcome home!" He shouted from the sofa, taking the comforter off and getting up to greet Minhyun by the entry way to help him with the food. Minhyun seemed brighter than he did this afternoon (though he could barely look at him due to how the glare of the sun made his entire being want to dissipate into nothingness), the tips of his ears red and his face a little flushed. Was the weather still chilly? "Sorry for passing out, I drank with friends last night and--"

"I know," Minhyun replied, chuckling softly, his pitch on the high side. "You told me."

" _Right_ ," he starts, smacking his lips, the sound echoing through the awkward silence, "I totally forgot."

"It's fine, you were fun to talk to," Minhyun hummed, gesturing for him to sit down as he got the plates and glasses ready. "Even if you weren't that coherent and rather grumbly."

"Oh my _god_ I'm so sorry, this wasn't really what I had in mind--"

"I told you, it's fine!" Minhyun assured him, all smiles as he opened up the two pizza boxes, one meat lovers supreme and the other classic pepperoni. "I wasn't sure what you'd like, so I just got the usual. Is that okay?"

"This is more than okay!! How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing?"

Jonghyun, grumbling, pursed his lips, his eyebrows furrowed as he retracted his hand that was reaching for the pizza. "That's not fair, I don't even remember paying for the chicken, either."

"It's fine," Minhyun hummed, "you paid me in stories. Your life's pretty interesting." 

" _Jesus_ , what did I say? God, you probably think I'm the biggest loser out there, huh?"

"No!! You're cute. Now eat, the pizza's gonna get cold."

"I like cold pizza," Jonghyun mutters to himself, still slightly pouty.

— — — —

**[ Mission Impossible chatroom ]**

**Lost Cause:**

He's so cute?

**Agent Han:**

OMG UR ON UR DATE!!

**Lost Cause:**

Kinda?

I mean, he's slightly drunk, still

So I'm not sure what to make of some of the things he's saying

It seems like he's the sleepy drunk

**Agent Soo:**

oh no but you hate dealing with drunk people

you gonna be okay?

**Lost Cause:**

It's fine

He's cute

**Agent Han:**

omg

he

HE IN L*VE

**Lost Cause:**

Why's there an asterisk on the O?

**Agent Han:**

cause i wasnt sure if u rly were in love or not but

LOOKS LIKE U R

**Lost Cause:**

???

I just asked about the asterisk

**Agent Han:**

shhh young one

i know

**Agent Soo:**

seeing your reaction to him though you seem happy

so i hope your date goes well

update us!

**Lost Cause:**

Yeah, I'm just going out to get some pizza for dinner

He fell asleep on my sofa

**Agent Han:**

oof i sense danger

**Lost Cause:**

Why?

**Agent Han:**

if u 2 get tgther u might threaten our cutest couple status

suddenly im not on board

**Lost Cause:**

First off, you two were never the cutest couple anyway, so status rejected

Secondly, I don't even know if we're gonna get together, stop pressuring me

**Agent Soo:**

okay but update us what you think after the date

like full updates

though i feel like i know what you're gonna say already

also don't worry babe, you're still the cutest in my eyes

**Agent Han:**

uh yea bitch i better be????

**Lost Cause:**

Whatever, he texted, talk to you guys later

He wasn't gonna lie, seeing Jonghyun with bed (sofa?) hair, rubbing his eyes and welcoming him home wasn't that bad, especially for someone like him who  _hated_ the idea of other people in his home; except for Jisoo and Jeonghan, he rarely ever had guests over, and his prickly personality oftentimes made him the centre of any debates and arguments regarding group work and social interaction. He wasn't a recluse, no, but he found it rather hard to open up and relax himself in front of others. He's shied away from all sorts of relationships because of it--it makes him uncomfortable and he didn't like the closeness it brought. It took Jisoo and Jeonghan so long before he could open up to them, and now they know how to maintain their relationship while keeping ample distance.

That's why texting is so great. Not everything may translate properly but it gets the job done. The communication he couldn't manage in real life, all sorted out through texts. That's exactly why the meet up made him anxious--what if he wasn't what Jonghyun expected? What if Jonghyun wasn't what  _he_ expected? All that anxiety, however, melted away as soon as he was greeted. Well, if Jonghyun attempting to salvage the date through squinted eyes and furrowed brows could be considered a greeting.

They talked about everything and nothing when they got home, Minhyun trying to be welcoming and Jonghyun instead going on a monologue about how stupid his friends are and how stupid he was for being friends with those stupid people. He didn't say much, letting Jonghyun do all the talking, until he noticed Jonghyun getting far too comfortable on the rug just beside the sofa after placing some snacks on the coffee table in front of it. "If you want to sleep, you can, but on the sofa, please," he told him, grabbing his arm and trying to get him to sit up. He was met with the most adorable smile that made him unconsciously break into a smile, a small thank you, and a curled-up Jonghyun on his sofa, snoring softly against his throw pillow. Now, with the both of them more awake than ever, the awkward air only grew thicker, the two on their phones as they sat each end of the sofa.

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 1:**

help its so awkward

**Circle 2:**

well since ur textin im assumin all the eating didnt get done

**Circle 1:**

shUT UP we had dinner n now were just on our phones idk what to say

should i leave lsdkjlfsjdf

idek what i told him or what we talked abt

im gone why am i so dumb

**Circle 2:**

i ask that every day

anywy y r u texting when ur with him still

**Circle 8:**

That's true

Talk to him?

Or leave, if you're done

**Circle 1:**

but it feels like dining and dashing do u feel

its sO AWKWARD HELP

**Circle 2:**

perish

— — — —

**[ Mission Impossible Chatroom ]**

**Lost Cause:**

Okay, it's awkward

What do I do?

**Agent Soo:**

talk to him instead of us?

why're you on your phone on a date

**Lost Cause:**

Cause he's on the phone!

**Agent Han:**

JUST TALK AND DONT BE AWKWARD

gosh you two

**Agent Soo:**

well it is their first time meeting

let's cut them some slack

it is min hyung we're talking about

**Agent Han:**

ugh fine but just talk to him

**Lost Cause:**

Fine

— — — —

" _Hey--_ " They both said, their voices overlapping and their faces simultaneously flushing.

"You can go first," Minhyun said, gesturing for him to continue.

" _Oh,_ uh, I just...wanted to ask if today was too much trouble? It's kinda awkward, isn't it? Meeting like this?" Jonghyun chuckled to himself, nibbling at his bottom lip. "I'm sorry I--"

"You don't have to apologise for anything, really," Minhyun interrupted, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. It's weird--he felt awkward, suffocated, even, but when Jonghyun started talking he instantly found himself smiling. Is this what people meant when they said they just  _clicked_? Even though the both of them are having such a hard time communicating? "It's not awkward, it's more like...we've talked so much now we just have nothing to talk about, I guess?"

It was Jonghyun that started chuckling this time, his eyes seemingly disappearing as he did so, the wrinkles around his eyes endearing to Minhyun. "That's true. I mean, you already know everything that is to know, probably," he hummed, lips pursed. "So well, how was your day, then?"

"I spent it taking care of you," Minhyun started, noting how flustered Jonghyun was, smiling to himself before he continued, "but all in all, it was fun. Hearing you speak fondly of your friends was quite entertaining."

"That translates to me making a fool out of myself while still slightly drunk, which basically means I've ruined any and all possibility of me making a good first impression but okay, this is fine," Jonghyun sighed, shaking his head. "As long as you're happy. But to backtrack, what did I say exactly?"

"Well..."

Recounting Jonghyun's stories from earlier that afternoon made for a different experience as Minhyun didn't realise how animated Jonghyun could get once he gets talking--as if he wasn't animated enough whilst doing his monologue. It was endearing to say the least, and Minhyun thoroughly enjoyed hearing stories of how their group was dumb enough to dabble in ouija boards and prank calls like fifteen year olds. He had insisted Jonghyun could stay the night as it was a little past midnight when Jonghyun said he should leave soon, but he couldn't bring himself to impose on someone he already left hanging as he took a nap while on a supposed date.

To ensure his safety, Minhyun compromised, they had to text all the way home.

Admittedly, Jonghyun could've had more fun if he wasn't tipsy and hungover the first half of the date, but he's glad he pushed through with it still--seeing Minhyun smile in person and hearing him laugh (albeit slightly obnoxiously) was all worth it.

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Where are you now?

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

omg its been 5 mins

im still waiting for the bus

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Do you want me to call a taxi?

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

im fine, min

srsly tho go review or something

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Are you really telling me to study right now?

I thought you liked texting me :(

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

oh dont pull that sad face on me ik ur laughing!!

i can just hear u all the way here

u n ur loud ass laugh damn who wouldv thunk

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

I'm not!! I'm sad :(

But hey, my laugh isn't that bad!

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

whoevr said it aint was lyin 2 u im sry sweetie

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Well you ended up calling me sweetie so I guess it's all good

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

omg do u like

get flirtier when u text after a date??

damn where was all that when i was on ur sofa hmmmmmm

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Okay I honestly suddenly don't know how to respond to that

Was that you coming onto me?

I mean I wasn't trying to be flirty but?

— — — —

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 1:**

minki got his wish

let me pERISH

**Circle 8:**

What's going on this time?

**Circle 1:**

i asked minhyun if he was bein flirty w me bc i rly thought he was!!

but apparently nOT CAUSE NOW HE THINKS IM COMING ONTO HIM

**Circle 2:**

but aint that what u want tho

**Circle 1:**

BITCH MAYBE BUT IDK WHAT TO SAY NOW

ITS BEEN LIKE 15 MINS SINCE OUR LAST TEXT AND I COULDNT BRING MYSELF TO TEXT U GUYS BC I WAS JUST

PANICKING IN THE BUS

**Circle 2:**

bitch wtf text back!!

if u aint gon be cute n handsome w a great personality the least u could do is reply fast n b funny tf

thats all u got goin for u omg jonghyun

**Circle 1:**

GEE THANKS!!!

but what do i tell him nOW OMG

WAIT HE TEXTED

****— — — —** **

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

_Sorry, did I do something?_

_I mean I didn't mean to sound flirty I'm sorry if that weirded you out_

_Or assume that you were being flirty too!_

_Gosh, I'm just generally sorry for all those texts_

_Ignore me_

_— — — —_

**[ hell holes ;~) chatroom ]**

**Circle 1:**

_[ Screen Shot at 12.41 AM ]_

END ME OMG 

**Circle 2:**

REPLY

**Circle 8:**

Sorry, I jwu

Just be yourself

Maybe just say you wanted to flirt?

So he doesn't feel bad

You can do this, Jong!

Now I love you but I'm going back to sleep, good night

**Circle 1:**

ugh fine i can manage mbe

nite b ily2

_— — — —_

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

no not at all!!! oMG

I MEAN LIKE Cause i was just. . . yk . .. tryin 2 flirt bUT DONT MIND ME IF U FEEL UNCOMFY ABT IT!!

were keeping it pg we all goods

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Oh well I mean I was fine with what you were doing

I just...didn't know how to respond

Since I don't usually...flirt with other people

I guess?

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

tf that has 2 b a lie???

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

No I mean it!

You know how awkward I get sometimes with my words and how I talk

I just really don't bother flirting

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

u just get them 2 go 2 bed w u bc u look hot

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

I mean, I think that's what happens?

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

DAMN OK I WAS JOKIN BUT OK BOY

well uHHHH idk should we backtrack now cause idk what to say now either

it worked a while ago ???

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

:)

Sure, yeah

Sorry again, sweetie :(

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

oh bby stop w the sad face now i think ur actually makin a sad face n im :(

if ur laughin tho i hope u choke

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

There we go :)

And this time I got called baby :)

Cute

Though I personally think you're the baby between the two of us

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

NEVER GNA USE PET NAMES W U AGAIN!!!

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

:(

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

NOPE u get kinda flirty-y on text

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Maybe this time I meant to be?

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

SHUT UR FACE IM HOME GOOD NIGHT MINHYUN

TTYL

****Minhyun ** **❤︎**** :** **

Good night, baby!

Sleep well!

********Jonghyun ** **❤︎**** :** ** ** **

SHUT!!!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next up: mission impossible update and possible second date? who knows at this point rly arent we all just winging it

**Author's Note:**

> idk how long this'd be but it'll have paragraphs in between so i hope u like it anyway!! formatting is hard wtf also kim jr needs 2 find a proper selca angle im mad
> 
> anywy hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/vvinnercty) or [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/vvalpurgisnacht)!!!


End file.
